Defining SubSpace

There are several definitions of Subspace.  The best one I’ve found is at HelloFlo.  They describe it as feeling disconnected and euphoric.  The Bad Girls Bible says that it is like a runner’s high.  The definitions are similar in that they both list loss of time, inability to communicate, raised pain threshold, and a feral feeling.  I’ve discussed SubSpace before on this post,

SubSpace as a Submissive

When your submissive enters subspace, she is giving over herself to you completely.  She is trusting you to please her and yourself.  Your submissive will start to communicate less coherently.  As they give in to you, they will turn into a vessel for you to please and use.  The feelings felt will change from session to session, and submissives will feel different themselves as well.

In general terms, submissives report feeling floaty, disconnected, and in pleasure.  According to the Bad Girls Bible, the feelings vary widely.  Some submissives can be paddled and not feel anything at all, while some report feeling drugged.  Others feel nothing but pleasure, and lose the ability to speak or move.

The Dark Side of SubSpace

SubSpace is dangerous, and if you chose to practice a dom/sub relationship you need to be wary of the dangers.  We discussed a raised pain threshold.  This means the submissive might not be aware of how much damage she’s taking.  As the dom, you need to be aware of this.  Learn both your limits.

If you aren’t in tune with your submissive partner, then you might want to avoid subspace.  Not knowing what her limits are, or her cues for when she might be beyond her limits and unable to articulate them is dangerous.  It can lead to her being pushed too far.  No one wants mental or physical damage from sex!

SubDrop and AfterCare

SubDrop

Many articles online have been written about subdrop.  When the session is complete, it is imperative that you take care of your submissive partner.  When your submissive is in subspace and the session ends, there will be a lot of emotions and feelings that have to be dealt with.  Including exhaustion, hunger, cold, and disorientation.  This can happen anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours after the session.  It would be exaggerated with a sudden, unexpected stop of the session.

Subdrop happens because the endorphins in the brain “dry up”.  When the adrenaline kicks in after a session, and the endorphins are crashing, there’s a response that’s sadness.  That response is subdrop.

AfterCare

The fix for this is Aftercare.  The secret to aftercare is that you both need it.  Aftercare is providing water, food, cuddling, and being present for your submissive.  When she’s in subspace, coming back can take time.  A lot of energy has been expended, and it’s not always easy to return from a space where you’ve submitted your body to someone.

Aftercare will help both of you reset.  I know, as a dom, that I have felt disconnected and “primal” during a session.  The disconnect is similar to what the submissive feels, and you both need it.

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