Local Stores

Going to a local store will give you a chance to ask questions, and feel the products. Theses are the best places to buy sex toys. But, seeing the breadth of products available in person is always fun. It’s always easy to spot a huge dildo molded like two hands and forearms, but seeing it in person is a whole other ballgame. I know it seems weird to touch a sex toy that’s not yours. But, the store is there to help you make an informed decision. Talk to the staff. Yes, it’s embarrassing for you the first time. Communicating is a huge part of sex. If you have a goal in mind, talk to the salesperson about it. Then, you’ll get an informed opinion and some options. After you have spoken to them, walk around the store and look around. Even if this takes a few trips to become comfortable, that is OK.

Talking to the clerk has saved me on several occasions. It’s stopped me from buying junk, or buying something that isn’t what I thought it was. The clerks, in my experience, have all been very helpful in finding a toy that works for my SO. I don’t have a pussy (obviously) so knowing what works from experience is important. They help me with that when I have questions about something specific.

Lovehoney.com

Lovehoney.com is my go to store online. They have excellent customer service, great pricing, and always seem to have what I’m looking for. Joining their mailing list saves you some money too. It sounds like a paid advertisement, but I’m not affiliated with them in any way. I do have an affiliate account with them, but it is not currently linked on this site. Expect that integration sometime soon. I always shop here first. This is what I would call a “trusted site” because they carry name brands and back them with the warranty from the company or their own warranty.

Liberator.com

Liberator.com is my go to for larger things that Lovehoney may not carry. For example, I have purchased a few sex wedges and ramps from them. The sell sex furniture, like a lounger built to accommodate several fun positions. Liberator is a strong name in the industry, and has been around for a while. One of the products they no longer carry inspired me to make my own headboard with hidden restraints. They are great for toys as well, but their selection isn’t as broad as Lovehoney has. What they do carry is quality. I also have an affiliate account with them. But, it’s not something that I’ve done yet on the site. Expect that soon as well.

Etsy.com

Etsy.com is a great place to go for custom items. Once you and your partner communicate and discover something you are both into, get something custom. Personally, I have custom restraints made by Atrocity Shop and I’ve been nothing but happy with their products. I have a full underbed restraint system made by them. Very strong, and very beautiful. My SO says it’s very confortable. We did have an issue with the size of the collar, but Dirk rectified it for me in no time! Etsy has a LOT of stores for dom/sub items, custom restraints, ideas for storage, etc.

Amazon.com

Amazon.com is good for devices that you know the specific of what you want. For example, I’ve purchased a Hitachi wand on Amazon with a speed controller. Amazon is also great for things that aren’t sex specific, but make sex easier. I’ve talked about being prepared in this post. I’ve purchased towels, lube, and sex blankets from Amazon. The blankets we use to protect the bed are extremely soft and water resistant. They are actually pet blankets, but they work really well, and are a fraction of the cost of a sex blanket.

As always If you want to communicate with me, please drop me a ling at contactus@menssexadvice.com!

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Communicating

Communication is very important. I know I talk about it a lot, but just read the posts linked above about how important it is. Sex is important, and should be given that level of importance in your life. Communicate your desires, wants, and things you just want to try. Then, listen to your partner about they want out of your shared sex life. Discussing things will probably show you more in common than you think! Don’t be afraid to discuss things you might think are taboo, like anal or domination. Also, don’t make your partner feel weird about expressing a desire you might not like. Being honest requires being vulnerable, and feelings can get hurt here. Find out what you each like so you can spice up your sex during quarantine, and after!

Places

Now that you have some idea of what you and your partner are in to, discuss some specifics. Places you haven’t fucked yet should be on the list. Maybe you want a blowjob on the back porch or you need to Christen every room in the house. Both of those are excellent and run ideas. Be very careful about public sex acts, no one wants to register as a sex offender for the rest of their lives. Some other ideas to spur your thoughts are outside sex, fitting room at a department store, family restrooms, car sex almost anywhere, office buildings you may have access to, the ideas are endless. There’s an article on Paired Life that has more great ideas!

Acts

Sex acts are where you can spice things up in the comfort of your own home. Setup the bedroom for something romantic, but go all out. Because you communicated both of your wants and needs, this is where all that comes in to play. Maybe you want to be dominated or dominate your partner. The point is, make use of this time. Turn off the TV, bend her over the kitchen table a fuck her. Don’t sit and waste the time, take her to bed and try something on your list or hers (preferably both!). There are a lot of articles online with ideas for sex. Just remember, not everything needs to be spontaneous. Grabbing a quickie might just be what the doctor ordered in the middle of the day. If you work from home, give your partner permission to give you head during work hours. Talk to your partner about your household being “Free Use” where one or both of you are fully open to what the other wants 24/7 (within your own limits).

Toys and Equipment

Mail ordering from places like Liberator or Love Honey. I don’t have many ideas for male toys, I’ve read good things about the Fleshlight. My thought is that it would probably feel good, but cleanup would turn me off. However, for women, I have a small collection that continues to grow. Sex during quarantine is a prime time to experiment!

Toys

Having a small collection of toys for her is probably one of the best investments you can make. I would recommend that you get a good vibrator. The Magic Wand with a speed controller is a great place to start. It plugs into the wall so there’s no charging to worry about, and with the speed controller you can ram ramp up and dial back the vibrations to edge her along. The Womanizer is another must have toy. The reviews all said that it can induce an orgasm in minutes. It uses pulsed suction to stimulate her clit. I would also recommend a dildo with a suction base (talk about size with your partner). Having a remote controlled vibrator is a fun “date” toy too. We-Vibe makes several great ones. I would also recommend getting a good quality butt plug with a flared base so you don’t lose it!

Equipment

When I’m talking about equipment, I’m talking about items that are larger and more complicated than toys. For example, bondage equipment or sex swings, things like that. When it comes to bondage, there is a lot of equipment out there that would require its own room for bondage. Because this is about sex during quarantine, we will discuss things you can order and use now. For example, an underbed restraint system like this one is a good start. If you enjoy that, I would recommend going to Etsy and getting something a bit nicer from a place like Atrocity Shop. Both the nicer set and the inexpensive set can be hidden under the bed or under the mattress when not in use. Don’t forget you can tie her to the headboard as well using cuffs.

Sex Swings are decidedly harder to hide, but it is possible. Your Tango has a good article on how to hide the ceiling hook or support for your swing. So far, no one has noticed mine. Sex Swings come in a variety of types. Whichever you choose, make sure it’s secure for your partner and comfortable as well. I would recommend always getting the head support as well so she can lay back and not worry about supporting her head. These do take some effort to get used to, but they are fun.

As always, don’t hesitate to contact us about anything you think we can improve on or a subject you’d like us to cover. You can do so at the Contact Us link on the menu above or the link above.

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The Stigma

The stigma behind men having sex toys is sexist. It’s time for it to die. I’ve read and heard the arguments for and against them, and they all would apply to both sexes. The most common shaming is that real men don’t need toys. If that’s true, then real women don’t either. Which is ridiculous. Sex feels good, and should feel good for everyone involved. Even masturbation, for both sexes. The use of a toy doesn’t change the fact that everyone deserves pleasure. But, I know that not everyone will change their mind about this subject. So we’ll acknowledge that it exists and most on, then move on agreeing that the stigma with men’s sex toys is stupid.

The Toys

The toys we can get cover the gamut from cheap and tiny to expensive and needs it’s own room. The smaller toys are similar to what’s available to our partners. Small vibrators, prostate simulators, butt plugs, all these things are toys for men. I know most men balk at the idea of using a butt plug, but we all need to know that there’s pleasure nerves around your anus too. Using a buttplug shouldn’t be something we stigmatize. It doesn’t mean you’ve changed sexual preference. The vast majority of is are not a 0 or a 6 on the Kinsey Scale. So, with that in mind lets talk about anal toys.

Our prostate is in our ass. To start, have her rub your taint firmly while she’s sucking your dick. She’s hitting your prostate from the outside. There’s a lot of pleasure that can come from stimulating our prostate. Some sex toys that can do this for us are the NJoy Wand, basic simulators, We-Vibe even makes a remote control toy. I’ve hit mine with the NJoy Wand we have. The experience is extremely intense. It’s very clear that I would totally be down to let my SO remotely control that toy. We have a couple of remote toys for her, turn-about is fair play!

As we move up the scale in price, we get into masturbation toys. Examples are Fleshlights, Tenga Eggs, vibrating contraptions, and some designed to cater to specific fetishes. Fleshlights have been around for a long time. Porn stars have worked with Fleshlight to build toys molded after their pussies, assholes, and generic lips. Tenga makes a few toys for men, including the Tenga Egg. They also have some vibrating masturbators as well. While there are some vibrating toys, some of the more interesting toys are the ones for fetishes. For example, there’s this toy for foot fetishists. It’s important to remember that there are varied tastes and everyone has their thing.

Moving further up the price scale, we get to hands free masturbation. Toys that can fuck you, artificially blow you, or just masturbate for you. As you can see here, there is a product to mount your Fleshlight into that masturbates for you. Fleshlight makes a similar product for their QuickShot line. There’s also the Autoblow AI. Simulating a blowjob is it’s only function. There are several settings, with several “sleeves” available. While I think most men would think of these as a women’s sex toy, there are fucking machines as well. Just because you think of them for women, doesn’t mean men can’t use them as well.

At the top of the cost spectrum for toys are the RealDolls and similar products. There are cheaper versions of this toy but RealDoll, to my knowledge, was the first and is the gold standard. For those that don’t know, these are full sized human dolls that are posable, and have “serviceable holes”. The mouth, the anus and the vagina all work. Also, The doll is posable, meaning you can put these dolls in many positions and they stay in that position. So if you want to have sex doggy style, that’s possible. Hang her head off the bed for oral, yup, she can do that. There’s a documentary about the RealDolls called “Love me, Love My Doll” on YouTube about the life of some men that own RealDoll companions. There are other “videos” on some of the porn sites if you want to see action video.

Summary

As you can see, there’s a lot out there. From simple vibrators and prostate stimulators to full on life size sex dolls. I don’t think we should ever shame other men for wanting or having sex toys. Having a sex toy doesn’t make you less of a man. The thought is patently ridiculous. No one thinks less of a woman when she’s got some sex toys. I’ve got a drawer full of toys for myself and my SO. Men’s sex toys are just as fun as women’s.

This is another area where you need to communicate with your partner. It’s OK to not want toys in your sex life for yourself. It’s also OK to want them in your sex life. There is no wrong answer, there’s only your answer. Communication, as we know from every other post on this blog, is paramount to a good relationship. As always, if you have questions, check out our Contact Page and shoot us a message. We’d love to hear from you!

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