Communication and Warnings about Choking Safely

By now, you and your partner should know if this type of activity would be interesting to both of you.  As part of a BDSM relationship, you should have established a set of rules already.  For example, you should have a red/yellow/green system. Set boundaries for both you and submissive.  Here is a link to more of the BDSM information I’ve typed so far.

Set expectations with your submissive.   Choking is a huge leap of faith for your partner.  She will taken and submissive in a new way.  The act of holding her by the throat is a very dominant act.  According to this article, being choked releases dopamine.  It’s not for everyone.  57% of the respondents to their survey have no interest in being choked.  However, 32% have tried it and liked it.

As the dom, you need to understand your responsibility.  You can kill someone with pressure on their larynx in about a minute.  We will cover some basic techniques to avoid the dangers.

How it Feels During Sex

Being the dominant partner, when you safely choke your partner the feeling is intense.  It feels animalistic and powerful.  You are fucking her, and she’s submitted her life to you.  She’s completely submissive to you at this moment.  I know from experience that when she rolls her eyes back as you fuck her, it’s a powerful feeling.

For the submissive, it can take her to a new place.  Your hand will own her, sliding into her pussy, she will melt.  You can use a little neck-play in your foreplay.  When you are kissing her, slide your hand up her body and lightly grab her neck.  Squeeze, tease her.  Pull your hand away and touch her all over, randomly placing her hand on her neck.

The Proper way to Safely Choke Her

Erotic asphyxiation can be done many ways.  We are only discussing choking, but this article from healthline.com discusses several other methods.  When choking your partner, you need to be careful to avoid putting too much pressure on the larynx.  Put your hand so that you can reach both sides of her neck.  Your goal is to restrict blood flow to her brain.  You don’t want to restrict air flow, only blood flow.  You can see in the photo below where the arteries are that you need to constrict.  Using your thumb and forefinger, compress them to restrict their flow without pressing on her larynx.  This video talk about what I suggest, and calls it a “blood choke”.

When done correctly, there should be no evidence left behind.  No bruising, no bright red skin, only the happy glow of a post orgasm partner.

This causes several responses in your submissive:

Physiological

The oxygen level in her brain will be reduced.  This will make her feel light-headed and dizzy.  Releasing the pressure occasionally will give her a rush, and will flood her with the “feel good” hormones.

Psychological

Being controlled is a power play.  She is putting her trust in you allowing you to safely choke her as well.  All of this puts her in a submissive state.  This is called “subspace”.  Her being in subspace feels like an out of body experience for her.  Typically, the signs of subspace are incoherence, dizziness, and intensified feelings.

Physical

The rush of endorphins is a response the body has to “fight or flight”.  So, the flight or fight response will be confused with the rush or the orgasm and all the pleasure that comes along with that.

The Orgasm

When she reaches orgasm, she will typically cum very hard.  Every sensation is heightened when you are in a state of asphyxia.  We’ve discussed the responses to your choking that your submissive has.  Leading to a very intense orgasm.  Experiencing this is something you will both try to replicate every time you have sex.  As a dom, watching her orgasm that hard is intoxicating.  The incoherence, the loss of control she’s experiencing in a safe space, it’s an amazing thing to watch.

Knowing that you created that for her, that’s power.

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