Sex is messy

Prepare for how messy sex can be. Think about the things you like to do during sex, and what you partner likes as well. For example, if your partner doesn’t swallow and you like blowjobs, have something ready to help her clean up. If you both like anal, which we know requires a lot of lube, have extra hand towels ready. Place the used or messy toys on a hand towel laid out on the bed. Lay a towel or a sex blanket under her before sex starts to keep the bed clean. Also, having baby wipes ready to clean up is a simple thing to do that will be appreciated.

Clean your partner after sex. It is an act of aftercare. But, don’t be bad at it. No one wants a UTI, and if you clean her poorly you could contribute to one. Never wipe back to front. Never clean her pussy with a wipe that’s been used anywhere else. Just grab a new wipe, and clean all round, including all the labial folds and around her clitoris.

Sex is fun

Toys

For some couples, toys are ubiquitous and will be present at every session. For others, they will make a rare appearance. So, have the toys in an organized place. For example, I’m working on finding an upright wardrobe travel chest to purpose into our toy chest. I plan on adding power to it. It will also have cut outs for each shape of the toy. Have the toys together keeps them organized, and makes gathering them up for the session so much easier.

Move the toys to the bed, or nightstand. Use a towel to put them on the bed. This not only keeps them together, but the towel will work to keep them from getting lost in the bed. Keep a clean hand towel on the bed as well for the used toys to be placed on. Being prepared for sex is not difficult, it just takes a bit of planning. Keep everything organized before sex means everything will go more smoothly during the session.

Equipment

Get your equipment ready before the session as well. It’s all part of being prepared for sex. When I speak of equipment, I am referring to things like blindfolds, wrist and ankle cuffs, a sex swing, under bed straps, basically anything that’s not a toy. Getting this ready and setup will make the session go so much smoother. When you use this type of equipment, keep in mind that there are things that need to be communicated in the dom/sub relationship discussed here.

Being Prepared for Sex

The key to all this is just being prepared for whatever you may want to do. Be ready for whatever you might reasonably expect during a session. Sex is messy, sex is fun, and being prepared for sex is sexy (at least according to my girl).

There are things that you can do outside the bed in the bedroom to make it more inviting. Here is a good article on Prague Post with some great ideas. Turn your bedroom into a place where you either sleep or have sex. Mentally, this will train your brain for sleep or sex in that room.

If you can think of anything to add, or a subject you want us to cover, please contact us through our contact us page!

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I have no doubt that you’ve tried vaginal and oral, trying anal sex seems like the next step. The key to anal sex is preparation. Expect things to get dirty and messy. So lets start with the prepping the bed.

Preparing for Anal

Gather up your lube, a couple of small hand towels, some baby wipes, and a large bath towel. A side note about baby wipes, this should be in your normal sex “kit”. Keep them around for cleanup after any kind of sex. Because we know things are going to get messy, lay the bath towel down on the bed before sex so she can lay on it. With our towel, we fold it in half so it’ll soak up more and protect the bed. I put the small hand towels and the lube off to the side of the bed where I can reach them. With them that close, I can use one towel to wipe the lube mess off my hand. The other towel is where I lay the lube bottle to protect the bed.

Anal isn’t something you can just “do” for most couples. Start with the same build up, teasing, and vaginal/oral that you generally do. Starting this way will really get her warmed up. It’ll help to get a couple of butt plugs to get her used to having something in her ass. You can also use your fingers, start small and use LOTS of lube. I would recommend starting on her back and lifting her legs up. You can put a pillow under the towel to hold her hips up as well.

As you warm her up, use your fingers on her ass. Put lube on them, rub the lube around her asshole, lube the length of your finger, not just the tip. Doing that will ensure that lube gets inside her ass where it really needs to be, not just on the outside.

Initial Penetration

Once she thinks she’s ready, you can lube up your dick. Do not just push it into her ass. You have to go slowly, at least at first until she has time to adjust. So lube up the tip of your dick, and lube up her asshole, and keep the lube handy because you will need more. Push against her asshole, and tell her that she needs to push like she’s trying to poop a little. It’s counter intuitive to do this, but this actually opens up her asshole for you to enter. Once the head of your dick breaches the opening, STOP.

You’ve done it. You are in her ass. Now, you have to let her adjust. It’s very likely that you just hurt her a little, and she’s breathing trying to control and pain and adjust. Take this opportunity to play with her clit, make her feel pleasure from somewhere to compliment the stretching of her asshole tight around your cock. It’s always a good idea to take this moment to put some more lube on your dick that is exposed right now. That will keep the lube inside her evenly distributed.

Once she tells you she’s ready, slowly start inching in and out. This will feel incredible. Keep touching and playing with her clit unless she asks you not to. After a few minutes, your dick will be completely inside her ass. Hold it there for a second and if you can, flex your kegel muscle to move your dick. She will feel this. The next time you pull back, pull out and lube up some more. This is a lot of lube, and that’s OK, she needs it. You are better off having way too much than not enough.

Go Slow Until She OK’s Faster

Pushing your dick back into her ass, you’ll need to be careful again. Just like the first time, she needs to adjust, but it should be a faster adjustment this time. When she’s ready, you can really start stroking your full length. If you have a vibrator, put it on her clit. You are fucking her ass at this point, so congratulations! At this point, you and your partner need to decide some things, like where you are going to cum. Inside is fine, it’s not a problem to cum in her ass. There’s no risk of pregnancy. Once you have both cum, it’s time to clean up.

Cleanup After Anal

Grab the extra towel and use it to wrap it around your dick. Use the baby wipes on her, but there are some things to remember. NEVER wipe back to front. We never want to put anything from her ass into her pussy. That’s how you give her a urinary tract infection. Always get a fresh baby wipe when you wipe her pussy. Use as many as needed to avoid cross-contamination.

I always find that it’s cleanup is a really good time to communicate with your woman, as I discussed in this blog post. As I stated in that post, communication is absolutely key to a healthy and satisfying relationship. So talk about it, talk about what you liked and what she liked.

As always, if you have questions, check out our Contact Page and shoot us a message. We’d love to hear from you!

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