There’s different types of masturbation. You can masturbate with your partner, touching yourself while they touch themselves. You can masturbate your partner while they please you. If you are alone, you can just handle things one your own as well.

Discussing masturbation with your partner

Communicating with your partner about masturbating is a healthy thing. There is no such thing as too much communication. Talking about how you both feel about masturbating and time apart is important. Some people aren’t OK with masturbation, and that’s OK. As long as they understand that not everyone feels that way. It’s not a replacement for your partner, it’s a physical release. I know for me, it’s not even in the same ballpark as sex with my SO.

The discussion should cover a few topics. You need to discuss is masturbation is accepted by each other. Discuss the conditions when it is OK, if there are any. Discuss what tools you are both comfortable with the other person using to please themselves. When you talk about masturbation, you and your partner need to be calm and non confrontational about it. The conversation does not need to be contentious. No one should be frustrated over sex and getting some relief if you can’t be together.

Masturbation on your own

Masturbating isn’t something that anyone should be ashamed of. The truth is, almost everyone does it. There are some that don’t, but almost everyone does. As long as you aren’t crossing any lines that you and your partner discussed, get your release. I know in my case, I have a guilty feeling when I finally break down and do it. It’s from a desire to be with my SO instead. But, being miserable when a simple release will fix the problem isn’t sustainable. The issues only arise when the agreements you make with your partner are broken.

Masturbating each other

This is a fun way to masturbate. Getting naked and pleasing each other will let you know what works for your partner to get to orgasm. Your partner will also learn what makes you orgasm as well. It will allow you to try new things as well. What happens if you use your fingers inside her and play with her clitoris? Mutual masturbation is a good way to find out! Your partner can also try things on you too, find pressure points that feel good, play with your balls, lots of things to try. There’s never a bad time to learn how to please your partner.

Pleasing your partner will allow you to figure out how to get her to reach orgasm. This means that you can get her close, edge her, then bring her back down. There will be a post on edging soon. It’s fun to do, and can really build up a HUGE orgasm for her and you.

Masturbating yourself together

Let’s be honest, watching your SO please herself is hot. Watching her hand on or in her pussy, playing with her own body is the best opportunity to learn what works for her. By paying attention to the pace, the pressure, and where she’s touching, playing, and rubbing, you can learn to be the best partner she’s ever had. When she’s pleasing herself, watch the order that she does things. Watch how her whole body reacts as she does different things to herself. You are watching for the things that make her shudder, writhe, and moan.

When you watch your partner, one of the things you need to pay attention to is her actions near her orgasm. I’ve discussed momentum before here. When you are watching her near her orgasm, watch her pace and pressure. It’s steady and even, she will push as far as she can and you need to know where that is too. Watch her whole body as the initial wave hits her and she runs into the orgasm. Knowing her physical queues will allow you to push her to the point where she’s experiencing the most pleasure and hold her there. It’s something she’ll never forget.

She should also be paying attention to you. Sometimes this will take several sessions as you pay attention to each other. You can show her how you like to touch yourself. She needs to know what patterns you like, where you like to be touched and the pace you like to go. This will help her please you better when she’s giving you a blowjob or a handjob.

Masturbation is not a bad thing

It’s important to know that it’s OK to please yourself. I’ve said it several times, but masturbation is not a bad thing. You are allowed to please yourself. As long as masturbation doesn’t supplant intimacy with your partner and only augments it, there is nothing wrong with it.

If you have any questions or have an idea or complaint, check out the contact us page! Leave a comment to start a conversation with me or other visitors, and we’ll see what happens! If you are looking for more information about masturbating, I would check out WebMD’s or Planned Parenthood’s pages on the subject.

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