Communicating with your partner brings you closer together. Sharing desires, wants, needs, all works to bring you closer together as a couple. I know that sometimes it’s very difficult to share your deepest desires. Fear of rejection is very real. And while you are communicating with your partner, you need to read her limits as well. You need to read her sensitivity to your fantasies before you just express them. Expressing fantasies that are a hard line no for your partner is counter productive.

Fantasies are exciting and fun. Sharing them with your SO can make them a reality. Communicating with your SO about your fantasies should be fun! Talking about what you both want from your sex life is a very healthy thing to do. You should be able to hear what your woman fantasizes about. It’s important that you listen and not judge. Fantasies are just that, fantasies. I’m sure there are women that fantasize about being gang banged but would never go through with it. Feeling safe and secure enough to express that is trust. She’s trusting you to let her express that fantasy without judging her.

We need to react to her fantasies the same way you need her to react to yours. There’s nothing wrong with having hard limits. For example, you might not want to ever allow another partner in the bedroom. If your SO suggests that her fantasy is to be DP’d, there’s a way around that. You can use toys to simulate this, and most fantasies. Adding toys and “equipment” to your sex life can be so much fun. It’s important not to be intimidated by them, some men can have problems with it.

When you are sharing your fantasies with your partner, don’t be afraid. It’s important to be reassuring and to expect the same reaction you afforded her. Sometimes it can be shocking, and that’s OK. It’s also important to be able to express your fantasies in a healthy way. No ultimatums, nothing like that. Express what you’d like. For example, if you would like to tie her up and dominate her, say so. If you’d like to be pegged by her, express that.

I feel a longer post coming on about more communication, not just about sex. A lot of my posts assume there’s a healthy relationship dynamic to begin with. But some need help getting there and starting the ball rolling. I’ve watched marriages fail over poor communication skills. Helping keep a partnership alive and healthy is the best way to have your best sex life!

As always, if you have questions, check out our Contact Page and shoot us a message. We’d love to hear from you!

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