What is Edging?

Edging is bringing your partner close to orgasm, then stopping.  Typically, when a man has a ruined orgasm we basically “rest” back to almost the beginning.  Women are different in this respect.  When you edge your partner, she will typically fall back to about 80% of her level she was at when you stop or change what you are doing.  Then, you build her back up.  Please her with whatever you were doing or whatever you know she likes!

Discuss Edging With Your Partner

When you want to edge your partner, you need to discuss it first.  Talk about their reaction and frustration level with being edged.  Not everyone likes the push to stop.  Some really do not like it and it will ruin the session.  There might be a limit on the number of times she will put up with being pulled back from orgasm.  Try sticking to 3 or less, as a general rule.  When you edge your partner, you want to frustrate a little, but do not ruin the session with it.

The discussion should cover how you are going to do it, and how many times you can do it.  You can do it many ways, including switching from oral to penetration, or stopping whatever you are doing for a cooldown, or simply changing technique to something less stimulating for her.  Switching from oral to penetration stimulates her differently (as you can see in this post about her anatomy).  Stopping all stimulation is the most jarring change.  Your partner might not like this at all, or may love it.  That’s why you discuss with her what her limits are!  Changing technique is probably the most common way to edge.  Going from strong steady clitoral stimulation in oral to gentle, slow stimulation, or from pounding her during PiV to gentle slow strokes.  Either of those are great changes of pace.

Pay Attention to Her Body

When you edge your partner, you need to know her body well.  Every woman has “tells” that will let you know when she’s about to orgasm, and you need to know them.  You need to know when she’s nearing her point of no return so you can stop before that.  If you go past that point, stopping will frustrate and generally ruin the session.  Because of that, stop before she reaches her point of no return.  Watching her body allows you to control the pace of the buildup too.  Because you know her body, slowing and speeding up the buildup should be easy.

How Far Can You Push Her Into Orgasm

How far can you push her into orgasm?  That’s something that needs to be decided before, or have some way to communicate with you that she needs you to stop.  In my experience, it’s very obvious.  You need to have a nonverbal way for her to communicate to you, as well as a verbal way.  There’s a really good chance that she won’t be able to speak to you while she’s having her orgasm.  When you finally allow her release, the orgasm should be huge.

So, Why Edge Your Partner?

Edging makes the orgasm more powerful.  That’s the short answer.  The longer answer is that the buildup and pull back of the orgasm makes the orgams “goalpost” move back a little bit every time.   Meaning that if your partner usually orgasms at an “8” out of ten, then edging might push that to a “9” or a “10”.  This means that the orgasm is bigger, and much more pleasurable for her.

Edging is usually framed as a male-centric conversation.  Most men enjoy being edged during a blowjob, extending the experience.  But, women enjoy it too!  Here is a good article on womenshelth.com about edging, and its effect on orgasms.

Summarizing…

When you edge your partner, it’s erotic.  It’s erotic to watch her build and pull back.  It’s erotic to feel her body work under your control.  There is a submissive, trusting aspect to this that she will have to trust you.  The reward is well worth all the effort!

If you have a suggestion for a topic, or a correction, basically anything you would like to talk to us, please use the Contact Page!

The post The Best Way to Edge Your Partner appeared first on Men's Sex Advice.