But seriously, sex is more than just penis-in-vagina. Sex should include intimacy, kissing, touching, etc. So, you can take breaks, you can fuck several times, it’s all up to you!

Expectations

Porn has created an unrealistic expectation that sex needs to be these hours long, marathon sessions. That’s simply not the case. My SO and I have 5 minute quickies, and multi hour sessions. Both are great, they fit our lifestyle, we both have high sex drives. If you and your SO don’t, that’s great! Sex duration isn’t a one size fits all situation, and it never will be.

I’ve learned over the years that sex is best when there’s no timetable or constraint put on it. Sometimes we orgasm quickly, sometimes we don’t at all.

Studies

If you are looking for an answer based on averages and a study, I found a 2005 study here at Healthline that there is a typical duration, desired duration, and what most women termed “too long”. This is for actual penis in vagina sex, desired duration for women was 7 to 13 minutes. Typical duration for a sexual encounter is 3 to 7 minutes. “Too long” was found by the study to be 10 to 30 minutes. Keep in mind that this ONLY applies to the vaginal intercourse part of sex. I still define sex as the entire event or session, not just intercourse (or any kind, oral, anal, vaginal).

In the end, the right duration for a sexual encounter is when both parties are satisfied and satiated. Sex duration is not, and will not ever be a “one size fits all” situation. There’s no answer in minutes, hours, seconds (I really hope it’s not seconds). Duration is up to you and your partner to communicate.

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