Open Relationship Basics

In its simplest form, an open relationship is one where one or both parties are free to have sex outside the relationship.  The rules vary based on what each party is trying to get from the sex outside the relationship.  The important thing is that there is communication.  I know I repeat that often, but it is that important.  Communication is the basis for a good relationship, both inside and outside the bedroom.

Types of Open Relationships

The types of open relationships vary based on the rules and the needs of the people involved.

Cuckolding

A cuckold relationship is one where one partner is allowed to have sex outside the relationship, but the other is not.  The “cuck” is the one not having sex.  Usually, the cuck only participates in a submissive way or through photos and video only.  The word comes from the word “Cuckoo” referring to the bird, which lays its eggs in other birds nests.

Most of the material you would find online center around “cuckquean” who cuck their husbands.  This means that the male partner in the relationship is the one not having sex outside the relationship.  When the woman is being cucked, the man is referred to as a “cuck-king”.  Cuckolding involves some sort of humiliation of the cuckolded partner.  The difference is that the cuck gets sexual gratification from the humiliation.  So, they pursue this as a couple.  Sharing the willing partner and involving the cuck partner as their dynamic allows.

Swinging

Swinging is an open relationship where both parties can and do have sex outside the confines of the relationship.  There are many types of swingers.  While some would argue that cuckolding is a type of swinging, I think the humiliation aspect makes it unique.  Swingers are usually a group of people that trade partners in some capacity.  Sometimes, it’s 2 couples swapping partners.  Other times, it can be much larger groups.  But, it can simply be 2 couples having sex in the same room with their regular partners as well.  People into swinging will sometimes refer to it as “the lifestyle” without expounding beyond that.  The idea is that those in the lifestyle will know what they are referring to.

Swinging comes in 2 flavors.  Hard swinging, where the partners allow fully penetrative sex.  Soft swinging can have a variety of limits. Some limits might include only kissing, only fondling, or oral only.  The Bad Girls Bible has a great article about the swinging lifestyle.

In my opinion, swinging is the most common type of open relationship.  Living in a small town in Arkansas, I know several people that are into the lifestyle.  There is even a neighborhood locally that has an underground swinging group.  So, there is likely a community of swingers in your area.

Open Relationship Rules

Most open relationships have a well considered set of rules for both parties.  Even in a cuckold relationship, the one being cucked will still have limits that their partner must observe.  These rules could be a limited number of people that they can have sex with.  Or, they may insist that everyone be in the room.  Some even have a limit on the places that the woman can be penetrated (no oral, or no anal, etc).  The important thing with any relationship is that the couple communicate about their limits and their needs.  Getting what you need out of your relationship may mean an open relationship.  As long as you and your partner agree on the boundaries and rules, it can be a healthy expression of your sexuality.

Open Relationship and Cheating

Cheating is shitty.  It’s not an open relationship if your partner doesn’t know about all the sex you might still be having.  As long as everyone is communicating and knows and agrees with everything that’s happening, I do not consider an open relationship cheating.

If you have any suggestions or things you’d like to see us write about, please use the contact us page!  We would love to hear from you!

The post How Does an Open Relationship Work? appeared first on Men's Sex Advice.