How to Talk About Sex

Talking about sex means you have to open up and be vulnerable.  That is a scary thing.  But when you talk about sex, it’s very healthy for your relationship.  You need to be prepared to hear things you might not like to hear.  Look for things to change to make sex better.

Talking about sex is difficult because it’s a sensitive subject.  We will talk about hurting feelings later.  Have a list of things you like and dislike, and be prepared to discuss what you like about each thing.  Actually have a list.  This conversation will wander around and will very likely get sidetracked.  So, having a list will help you discuss everything you want to talk about.  On this list, have specific things listed.  For example, don’t just say “I like missionary” but say “I like missionary because I can watch you cum and play with your clit”.  Be specific.

When you discuss the things you like and dislike, it’s important to keep in mind the positive versus negative outlook discussed above.  Listen and watch for your partners reaction.  If you are into ageplay and your partner is clearly uncomfortable with it, then don’t push.  If they seem open to it, that’s OK too.

When you talk about sex, bring up things you like and things you don’t.  Talk about what you want to try and what turns you on.  Bringing up things you have always wanted to try is hot and shows trust.

When and Where to Talk About Sex

When and where to talk about sex can be tricky.  Most things should be discussed outside the bedroom, not during sex.  Think of it like that because you don’t want pressure during the sex session, and you don’t want the emotional aspect of the discussion to ruin the moment.  It’s OK that some things are hard to talk about.  That’s a good sign, some discomfort is usually a sign of growth and stretching your boundaries.

Outside the Bedroom

One of the most productive places to talk about sex is outside the bedroom.  Places like a quiet dinner or lunch, a drive, or a walk are all great places to talk about your sex life.

Wherever you are comfortable and together, in a place where conversation flows easily, sex can be brought up and discussed without any performance pressures to go along with the conversation.  Over a meal is a great place to talk about sex.  It sounds silly, but it’s a great place.  If you are at home, you can each pull out your lists and just start talking!  Each new thing will spark discussions, you’ll learn each other’s boundaries and know what they like (and don’t) that you are currently doing.

Inside The Bedroom

If you are comfortable talking about sex during the act, that is awesome.  Asking what she likes while you are in the act can really get some detail notes for you to remember.  For example, during cunninglingus, asking if it feels better to lick on the right or left side of the clirotal hood is a detail you can learn.  Nina Hartley talks about this in her book “Nina Hartley’s Guide Total Sex“.  Most women prefer a side, which side does your partner prefer?

If you aren’t comfortable talking during sex you can still talk about it in the bedroom!  Just be prepared for things to possibly lead to trying out some of the things you are discussing.  That would be a fun ending to a good talk.

Talk about Sex without Hurting Feelings

Talking about sex is difficult because it’s a sensitive subject.   Each person needs to be prepared to hear things that you might not like to hear.  But, you need to get clarification on things that you aren’t clear about.  Your feelings may get hurt.  She may tell you that she doesn’t like when you do something you thought she liked quite a bit.

Your partner is trusting you that you will have a discussion about things.  It’s important to listen with an open mind.  Sometimes phrasing will make all the difference.  Phrasing things with a positive connotation is always better than saying things with a negative spin.  For example, “I prefer when you lick here” is better than “Don’t lick there”.  One has a negative connotation and one does not, but even if you hear something that sounds negative know that it’s still OK to hear it.  Sex is supposed to be fun and enjoyable for both partners.  Talking about it and not getting defensive is difficult, but worth it!

Conclusion

The outcome from talking about sex with your partner is that you will communicate better, and should lead to better sex as well.  There might be a hurdle between some bruised feelings to the better sex, but bruises heal and better sex is repeatable!

The goal of talking about sex is to open up more.  Seeing the number of people posting questions online where the answer is “Talk to your partner” is more than can be counted!  I understand it’s not something people come by easily, putting yourself out there is placing a lot of trust in your partner.   It’s a great way to build on a relationship!

The post How to Talk About Sex! appeared first on Men's Sex Advice.

Permission and Communication

Getting your partners permission to record the sex session is paramount.  If there is an expectation of privacy, then legally permission is required.  Personally, if you ever want your partner to trust you again, get permission.  Not getting permission is a really shitty thing to do.  Get Permission.  Make it clear with what will happen with the video, where it will be stored, and how it will be kept private.

Some other things to think about are what is said during the sex session during the recording.  The positions your SO might like to see or not see.  Things you want to see recorded or not see recorded.  There may be positions your partner doesn’t want filmed, or certain sex acts they might not want on film.

Setup

Setup can be as complicated or simple as you’d like.  Using just your phones camera works, as does a 3 camera setup with lights and sound.  Using your phone is going to be the go to method to grab footage.  They make small tripods that you can get at Amazon.  They come with a clamp that holds your phone, and that particular one has a bluetooth remote included.  You can also get a clamp mechanism to connect your phone to a standard tripod.  The issue most people want to avoid is editing.  That can be very time consuming and eats up a lot of space.

Your setup will dictate the kind of video you end up with.  Having a tripod will be more like watching 3rd person porn.  Holding the camera/phone will allow you to have more of a POV porn.  Part of communicating with your partner is what you want to end up with, so think about this with your setup.

Location

One of the things to consider is location.  Do you want to try something quick in the car?  Go camping?  Rent a hotel room so none of your personal things are visible, which would help with security.

Recording

When you start recording, make sure your partner knows what’s going on.  Based on what you communicated when you discussed permission and communication, you should be prepared to start and stop recording.  Alternatively, you can have a more planned out session where you’ve agreed to only do acts X and Y.  Maybe you just want a POV of a blowjob, maybe you want to record doggy style and that’s it.  Those are all OK, just communicate and make sure everyone is having a good time.

The vast majority of your homemade porn will be done on a phone.  That’s just the reality of what’s easily available to most people.  Before you record, make sure you have thought through your photo sharing situation, and the automatic backups and who has access to them as well.

Storage and Privacy

Once you get the footage off your device, you can store it on USB, your computer, or keep it in the cloud.  There are a lot of options and depending on your comfort level, they offer varying levels of security.

Keeping your files on a USB drive is probably the most secure.  You can keep a small USB drive hidden easily.  There are open source and paid programs to secure them, and some USB sticks are secure by design.  Keeping the videos on your computer is probably the second most secure.  But, that depends on you how secure you keep your computer.  Do you always lock it, or can the kids login under your username?  Can they see your files logged in as themselves?  The next is having it stored in the cloud.  Amazon Photos, Google Photos, Apple iCloud, Microsoft One Drive, all these can store your videos easily, and all allow some security between access and security.

You have to discuss this, and then come up with a solution that you are both comfortable with for storage.  Maybe it’s a combination, and you end up with some online and others stay at home on a USB drive in a safe.  There’s not wrong answer, just think about it and discuss it, finding what’s best for you and your partner.

If you have decided to try to obscure your faces or other things from the video, there are some options out there.  They vary from on the phone to software you download on your Mac/PC.  None of them look particularly complicated, so adding that to your video shouldn’t be too difficult.

Conclusion

As you can see, there is quite a bit to talk about and decide!  So, before you jump in and start recording, the key is to talk first!  Pretty coon, you might have a library to look at while you are alone, or maybe play in the background while you are both enjoying each other as well.

If you see anything that you’d like to discuss, reach out to us using the information on the Contact Page!

The post Fun with Cameras, Start Recording! appeared first on Men's Sex Advice.

Defining SubSpace

There are several definitions of Subspace.  The best one I’ve found is at HelloFlo.  They describe it as feeling disconnected and euphoric.  The Bad Girls Bible says that it is like a runner’s high.  The definitions are similar in that they both list loss of time, inability to communicate, raised pain threshold, and a feral feeling.  I’ve discussed SubSpace before on this post,

SubSpace as a Submissive

When your submissive enters subspace, she is giving over herself to you completely.  She is trusting you to please her and yourself.  Your submissive will start to communicate less coherently.  As they give in to you, they will turn into a vessel for you to please and use.  The feelings felt will change from session to session, and submissives will feel different themselves as well.

In general terms, submissives report feeling floaty, disconnected, and in pleasure.  According to the Bad Girls Bible, the feelings vary widely.  Some submissives can be paddled and not feel anything at all, while some report feeling drugged.  Others feel nothing but pleasure, and lose the ability to speak or move.

The Dark Side of SubSpace

SubSpace is dangerous, and if you chose to practice a dom/sub relationship you need to be wary of the dangers.  We discussed a raised pain threshold.  This means the submissive might not be aware of how much damage she’s taking.  As the dom, you need to be aware of this.  Learn both your limits.

If you aren’t in tune with your submissive partner, then you might want to avoid subspace.  Not knowing what her limits are, or her cues for when she might be beyond her limits and unable to articulate them is dangerous.  It can lead to her being pushed too far.  No one wants mental or physical damage from sex!

SubDrop and AfterCare

SubDrop

Many articles online have been written about subdrop.  When the session is complete, it is imperative that you take care of your submissive partner.  When your submissive is in subspace and the session ends, there will be a lot of emotions and feelings that have to be dealt with.  Including exhaustion, hunger, cold, and disorientation.  This can happen anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours after the session.  It would be exaggerated with a sudden, unexpected stop of the session.

Subdrop happens because the endorphins in the brain “dry up”.  When the adrenaline kicks in after a session, and the endorphins are crashing, there’s a response that’s sadness.  That response is subdrop.

AfterCare

The fix for this is Aftercare.  The secret to aftercare is that you both need it.  Aftercare is providing water, food, cuddling, and being present for your submissive.  When she’s in subspace, coming back can take time.  A lot of energy has been expended, and it’s not always easy to return from a space where you’ve submitted your body to someone.

Aftercare will help both of you reset.  I know, as a dom, that I have felt disconnected and “primal” during a session.  The disconnect is similar to what the submissive feels, and you both need it.

As always, if you would like to contact us, reach out on the Contact Page linked here and on the menu bar.

The post The Best Help For Your Submissive in SubSpace appeared first on Men's Sex Advice.

Listening In Your Sex Life

Listening in your sex life is an important area to being the best listener you can be.  Listening for what your partner is saying beyond the face value.  When I think back to my experiences, there were a lot of hints that my SO likes to be submissive to me.  Until we communicated about it very bluntly, I didn’t pick up on the hints.  For example, if your partner responds with “yes” a lot, or uses submissive or dominant phrasing, we need to pick up on that.  I would still strongly suggest having a blunt discussion about what you want and need from your sex life.  But, that’s not always the easiest thing.  Listening beyond the words and learning to decode the non-verbal cues is important for us to learn.

Submissive Language

Submissiveness is when you like to be directed and told what to do.  For example, if you respond to simple direct instructions with a “yes” or a silent move to do what your told, that’s a submissive sign.

Dominant Language

Dominant is to be in charge.  Language that will be used would be giving instructions, saying things with an expectation of action, or using your hands to direct your partner.  These are things that dominant person would do.  There will be a post soon with more about a submissive/dominant relationship.

Blunt Language

At some point, you and your partner are going to need to be blunt with each other about your sex life.  My partner knows that my ability to take a hint is improving, but started at basically zero.  She is very good at being blunt with me and me with her.  Being blunt has helped us find new things about our sex life, for example our dom/sub dynamic.  Our blunt conversations started because of some things I noticed in her behavior, and her learning that I don’t take hints well.

Being the best listener you can be is part of being the best partner you can be.  You want to be the best partner you can be.  This includes your sex life, so listen to improve your sex life!  If you have any suggestions or would like to tell me how I’ve failed, contact us through the Contact Us page!

The post Being The Best Listener You Can Be appeared first on Men's Sex Advice.

Communicate Your Needs

Getting what you need starts by communicating what your needs are. If your partner isn’t doing something you need, you need to communicate with them. Knowing your needs is the first step in this process. While this does seem logical, it is often skipped. When you are thinking about your needs, seperate your needs from your wants. For example, you may need physical stimulation to get hard. Communicate that to your partner clearly. She needs to touch you to get you hard. Knowing your sexual needs and communicating them is very important.

Wants Versus Needs

Knowing your wants versus your needs is something you need to think about as well. Needs are things that you can’t function without, wants are things you like. Some men need emotional attachment to have sex. Some men want to eat their partners ass. That’s an example of needs versus wants.

When discussing all this with your partner, always discuss needs before wants. Because they are more important, you need to lead with them. Do not talk over your partner when they start to discuss their needs as well. this means you need to be listening and paying attention when she talks. Make notes if you have to. I’ve said it so many times, but sex is important and should be afforded that level of importance.

Discussing wants is where things get really fun. It’s important here to take notes and be specific. Tell your partner what you want to do to her. Tell her what you want her to do to you. But, you need to know exactly what you are asking for, specifically. In other words, if you want a blowjob before sex, tell her. If you have a fetish for her swallowing your cum, tell her. If she tells you that she wants you to eat her pussy once a week, then you do that until she finishes all over your face.

Being Prepared for the consequences

As it always is, there is a chance that your needs or wants will not line up with something your partner won’t do. If that’s the case, you need to decide if that’s OK with you. Sexual tastes and interests change over time. Your partner may change her mind, she may not. You need to be OK with either decision, or be prepared to move on in the relationship. You can read hundreds of testimonials online where partners have changed their sexual appetites years into the relationship.

By communicating your needs and wants, and being open to all your partners needs and wants, your sex life will improve. Don’t be afraid to communicate with your partner. By communicating your needs and wants and listening to her needs and wants, you will be getting what you need.

As with every post, please leave us feedback on what you love, hate, despise or just think is plain wrong. You can do so here!

The post What To Do When You Aren’t Getting What You Need appeared first on Men's Sex Advice.

Clitoral Stimulation

We won’t cover the ins and outs of warming up your partner as that’s been covered. Just know that foreplay is important and needs to be something that we all recognize as something that needs to be done. Typically, clitoral stimulation is generally thought of as vibrators. Now, there’s a lot of toys that use gentle suction. Also, there are also toys now that touch-stimulate the clitoris with a simulated tongue. The We-Vtibe company makes the best toys that I’ve found. Their quality is high, and their support is also excellent.

We-Vibe Sync

The We-Vibe Sync is a toy that stimulates both inside and externally for her. There’s a vibrator motor on both the part of the toy that goes inside and the part that lays outside the pussy. It’s also controllable through your phone through bluetooth. And, it’s capable of being truly remotely controlled by you through your partner’s phone. This toy can be “hands free” and inside her during sex, which is something we like. Also, I like being able to remotely control the toy, if we are out on a date or just hanging out at home.

We-Vibe Tango

We also have a We-Vibe Tango. It’s a small lipstick sized vibrator. Typically, most people associate size with power. With the Tango, this is simply not the case. Because we used the Tango so much, we wore it out and had to buy a new one. With the Tango, there’s a difference between a buzz and a rumble. With the Tango, you get a rumble. It’s also the toy of choice when we are packing light. Well, this toy and the Sync.

Magic Wand

Another toy for clitoral stimulation is the mythical Magic Wand. This toy has an interesting history. Hitachi used to own and manufacture the Magic Wand as a massage implement. Over time, Hitachi found the need to distance itself from a sex toy so they spun the company off and sold it. When I bought a Magic Wand, I bought a speed controller for it as well. Also, I would strongly suggest people get a speed controller with their Magic Wand. Only having a high-off-low switch doesn’t give you the flexibility you are going to want. This toy sees a lot of use, and is one that almost always travels with us as well. It’s powerful, it’s adjustable, and it’s easy to handle. Even in the heat of the moment.

Womanizer

The Womanizer is a toy that creates a suction against her clit. This is a pulsing sensation that gently sucks on her clit externally. Judging by some of the videos that you can find with a quick Google search, and my own experience, this toy is worth every dollar. Using is during intercourse to stimulate her externally will help her reach one powerful orgasm. It’s sort of amazing to see how quickly this little wonder works. It’s on my list of “must buy” for anyone that asks me for advice. Also, it’s one toy that always makes the trip when we go out of town.

Internal Toys

Internal toys are toys like dildos, egg vibrators, and G-spot stimulators. Dildos come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Egg vibrators also have different sizes and shapes. Eggs also have remote controls or controls on the device itself. G-spot stimulators look like vibrators with a curve. The curve is to reach up against the G-spot, where the nerves come together as a bundle.

Dildos

Remember that the pussy is a muscle, and even a large dildo will not permanently change the shape of a pussy. They make those things HUGE. But, if you communicate with your partner you can find one that works for her and you both. They make dildos that vibrate, and suction cup bases, with and without balls. If you want some really different toys, check out Bad Dragon. Having one that suction cups to a smooth surface can help you and your partner simulate a threesome, allowing her to fuck herself while giving you head. It’s also sexy as hell to watch her fuck it.

Egg Vibrators

Egg vibrators are small and shaped like eggs, hence the name. These toys can be used like any vibrator, against the external pleasure points or fully inserted into the pussy. It’s important to communicate with your partner about what they want from this toy. Fucking her with the egg inserted can feel good, but you have to be mindful of how your dick is pushing against it. Depending on your size you can hurt your partner. Get an egg vibrator with a remote control. It’s fun to change the vibration settings while it’s inside her. It’s also very important to get a toy that you can get back out, so make sure it’s got a tail of some sort that will allow you to get the toy back out of her.

G-Spot Stimulators

G-Spot stimulators typically they have some sort of external part that will stay outside your partner. Reaching inside her with a curved shape so that they can vibrate and stimulate the G-spot. They will have controls on the part of the toy that stays outside or will be remote controlled. I would strongly suggest getting one that its remotely controlled. In the heat of the moment, it’s fun to control these toys just like the egg when there’s other things happening.

Anal Toys

Anal toys and anal play are often thought of as taboo. Anal takes preparation and great communication. We’ve talked about anal sex before so I’m not going to go over all the details. But, I will remind you that towels are your friend, and you need lube. I suggest Astroglide Gel, I get mine at Wal-Mart or Amazon. Anal toys can vibrate or just be something that sits just inside.

Butt plugs have a large variety of sizes and shapes. The important thing to remember about a butt plug is that the base that stays outside the body is flared. This flaring is what keeps the toy from going inside the body, and is 100% needed, unless you want to visit the ER with a funny story. Butt plugs come in lots of sizes and shapes. Some are remote controlled, some even come with a cock ring attached and insert into the mans ass. There are even some that inflate with a pump. Anal toys can be left in during sex as well, some women really enjoy the “full” sensation. If you get one with a handle as part of the base, gently pulling on it when she’s cumming is a nice sensation as well.

Toys are fun

I’m trying to show that toys can be very fun! Having fun pleasing your partner is something we should all try to do. It’s not as simple as “happy wife, happy life” which I find reductive and counter productive to a healthy relationship. It’s more about having a happy healthy sex life means that you should be trying to please your partner and she should be trying to please you. Toys are just one thing that can augment this. But, it’s so important to keep in mind that you are not being replaced with toys. You are augmenting what you can do with your body, hands, and mouth with a toy.

As always, if you want to reply to this, leave a comment or email us at the comment page!

The post The Best Toys for Her in my Experience appeared first on Men's Sex Advice.

You are making out with your partner. First, things start to heat up. Then, you start getting more serious. Touching begins, her all over you, you all over her. Suddenly, Mr. Happy isn’t so happy. What now?

First, do not panic. It is really important to remember that this happens to everyone. Even if you haven’t had it happen yet, it will. So, how you handle the problem will dictate how your partner reacts to the issue. You need to react in a calm way, and simply communicate with her what’s happening. Then, you have to remember that you are more than your dick.

Physical Causes

The physical problems that cause ED can mostly be cured. A good website to see the causes of ED is at the Mayo Clinic. Their list includes many things, including obesity and smoking. I have had experience with low testosterone. I went to my doctor and had a conversation about my issues, including ED. Of course, there was an easy fix for this in my case. Specifically, I take shots every week to balance my hormones. Low-T causes more than erectile dysfunction. In my case, it caused mood changes and general weakness. But, everything is better now and everything is working great!

Psychological Causes

Examples of psychological problems that cause ED are depression and stress, as well as relationship issues. Both of these can be worked on with professional help. One of the big things that you’ll find on this blog I’ve been trying to get across is to communicate. That includes getting help. As men, we are typically unwilling to get the help we need. In reality, we need to learn to open up and talk to those that can help us. At the very least, talk to your partner. A healthy relationship should work on all problems together, whether they start with you or her. There will be a post about maintaining a healthy relationship soon.

Should erectile dysfunction happen to you, remember that you are more than your dick. ED doesn’t have to stop the festivities. There’s a lot of other things you can do to her to make sex fun for both of you. There’s always oral sex, fingering, or using toys on her. The point is, enjoy getting her to cum. Honestly, it sucks to not have your dick work. It’s a blow to your confidence and your manhood (no pun intended). But, it’s not the end of the world. Get help. Talk to your doctor. Communicate with your partner.

As always, communicate with me on our Contact Us page! I’d love to hear feedback about the articles and information I try to get the word out on!

The post Erectile Dysfunction Isn’t Devastating, There is Help! appeared first on Men's Sex Advice.

Being vocal doesn’t come naturally for us. I think it’s because of our masturbation habits. I know it sounds funny. Being quiet while cumming is something we train ourselves to do. Even the experiences that feel incredible, we have trained ourselves to be silent.

To break this habit, we need to form a new one. We need to understand that it’s OK to make noise. If you like it when your woman is vocal, then she’ll like it when you are. Start by moaning and telling her that feels good. It feels weird at first, but you’ll get used to it. And as you get more accustomed to making noises, you’ll get more and more vocal naturally. It just takes time.

Communicating with your partner about any fears or problems you may have might help you deal with your apprehension. Listen to the noises your woman makes in bed. Use your partner as inspiration in this regard. Very likely, she’s not apprehensive at all about noise. So follow her lead and make some noise.

Medium.com has a good article about men being vocal. The article explains what Emma (the writer) did to get her partner to make more noise. Primarily, they communicated about it. He expressed that he found it embarrassing. Emma equates sex with a silent man to a man fucking a “starfish” partner. That’s someone that doesn’t move, just lies there like a starfish. She says that being vocal shows appreciation for the work your partner is putting in. It shows her that you are enjoying her body and the fuck itself.

Emma also encourages this as a method of communication. Use the sounds you make to show your partner what’s working for you and what’s not. Vocalizing is healthy, and she will learn to respond to what is working and what’s not. Make good noises when she’s doing what you like or what feels good. Make other noises or tell her when things don’t feel as good.

I know I sound like a broken record, but it’s all about communicating. If you don’t agree, or want me to cover a specific subject, check out our Contact Us page and send me a message!

The post Surprising Reactions to Men Being Vocal in Bed appeared first on Men's Sex Advice.

We’ve come to this dynamic through communication. I know it seems like I harp on communication a lot, but it literally cannot be overstated. Working on the dominant-submissive dynamic in action requires great communication and trust. My life experiences drive this blog, so I will be writing this as the man is dominant and the woman is submissive to him. For a more clinical look at the dominant-submissive relationship, there is a Wikipedia article about it. This does NOT mean your experience will be the same. There’s no shame in being sexually submissive for a man, enjoy your sex life!

For us, it started with her asking me to just take her. That is a huge hint, men. If she says “just take me” then do that, just take her. This doesn’t mean “abuse me, I like that”. On the contrary, she’s telling you that she trusts you. Now is a GREAT time to discuss safe words and safe actions.

Safe words typically rely on a green/yellow/red system. Green means what you were doing is OK, feels good, keep going. Yellow means slow down or stop that specific thing. Red means everything stops, and the two of you need to discuss what was happening. There also needs to be non-verbal safe actions using the same system. Non-verbal communication is used when the sub cannot use her voice. The non-verbal communication needs to be something deliberate, like 3 hits with her palm on your body. Something that is clearly not an accident.

As a couple you also need to lay some ground rules. There’s some grey area in this. What I mean is that you can’t lay ground rules for absolutes, nor can you make up rules for every scenario. It’s important that you discuss things and know soft limits versus hard limits. “I don’t like being hit” might be a soft limit for your sub. Spanking is hitting, and while I’d never hit my SO, I will spank her ass bright red. So, that is a soft limit for her. I’ve read where anal is a soft limit for some submissives where they don’t want anal sex, but a finger is OK.

Once you have communicated, have some ground rules, and have the safe words and actions in place, it’s time for the fun part. You can tie her to the bed, or just hold her down using your body. There are a lot of non-restraining way to manhandle and dominate your woman. If you want her to do something, just put her in position and do it. Hold her legs how you want. Flip her over and fuck her prone bone when you feel like it. Since you communicated, you should know that this manhandling turns her on.

In contrast, there are a lot of restraining ways to dominate your woman as well. In the post linked above, there are examples of things to buy that aren’t expensive. Keep in mind you don’t have to buy anything. You can hold her wrists together above her head while you fuck her. You can grab her hair in prone bone or while she’s giving you head. Hair pulling is something that I’ve found is a big turn on, but not too hard. Again, communication is key.

I feel like now is an excellent time to discuss choking. Yes, it’s hot, but you need to learn to do it correctly. Just grabbing your woman’s throat is NOT a good idea. Communicating about what feels right to her is important. Talk about it before you do it, and get a feel for leaving her windpipe alone. It’s difficult to put no pressure on the windpipe, but you can minimize the pressure on it by putting your thumb on one side of her neck and your fingers on the other.

Placing your fingers just below the jaw and pressing into the neck will allow your palm to pull back from her windpipe. This also should line up your fingers with her carotid which you then press on. Your goal is to limit blood to her brain. In my experience, it makes the orgasms much stronger for her when the brain is a little starved for blood. I know this sounds dangerous, but this is where the non-verbal safe actions come in. She needs to communicate with you if she’s feeling like she’s going to pass out.

Any sex act can be taken to extremes. This is true for submissive and dominant people as well. Submissive people can like the humiliation aspect of the act, or enjoy and get off on physical pain. Dominant people can enjoy inflicting humiliation and pain on their submissive partners. There are plenty of videos out there should you want to search for that sort of thing. Degradation also plays into the dominant/submissive relationship, although I wouldn’t consider that an extreme.

Being trusted to be a dom is intoxicating. Having her place her trust and her body in your hands is an amazing feeling. I think a lot of people associate the role of dom as something that means you are an abusive person. That is simply not true. Knowing what someone likes or doesn’t in the bedroom has no bearing on their behavior outside the bedroom.

The dominant-submissive dynamic in action is something I think everyone should explore. With proper planning and communication, it’s a really great addition to your sex life.  As always, if you want to correct me, argue about something, or tell me I’m an idiot, use the Contact Us page!

The post The Dominant-Submissive Dynamic In Action appeared first on Men's Sex Advice.

In my life, I do my best to treat my lady really well. Her love language is acts of service, so I do things for her. I take care of her car by keeping it clean and full of gas every time I can. I help keep the house clean, I cook for the family sometimes, I take care of the kids for her. My post on communication and sex is good start, but good communication is important for a great relationship as well.

We need to pay attention to treat our women well. Listen to what she’s telling you, make sure you are hearing not just the words, but the subtext as well. We have to trust that they are telling us what they mean, and act on that. I strongly suggest you figure out her love language. I would find the best way to do this is to simply take the online tests and see where you both end up. I’m not going to cover the love languages here. But I will say that learning her love language is an easy way to make the little things count.

I have found that little things, truly little things, make a big difference. Open doors for her, hold her hand, push the cart, help her around the house. All these things make a big difference. But it doesn’t all have to be work! When it’s appropriate, give her little butt a smack, glide your hands over her pussy. Again, when it’s appropriate (which you should communicate about boundaries together).

I’ve also found that being protective is a very big part of making your lady feel secure and safe. I know that’s pretty straightforward, but protect her. When you are walking, put yourself between any perceived threat and her. Sometimes it’s subconscious, it is with me. That’s one of the acts of service I do for her.

Do keep in mind that your way of communicating your love doesn’t have to match the way you are shown love. Me doing acts of service for my SO doesn’t mean she does acts of service for me. My love language is touch, and she knows this, so she touches me. And she likes when I touch her because she knows what it means.

I know this blog is about sex, but sex requires a relationship. Being in a relationship is more than sex, I know you all know that, but good advice is good advice. Learning to listen to your SO and respond in ways that make her smile and keep her happy are easy things to do. it just takes a little bit of effort. So, knowing we need to treat our women well outside the bedroom, it’s not hard to see why it’s so important.

As always, if you have questions, check out our Contact Page and shoot us a message. We’d love to hear from you!

The post We Need to Treat Our Women Well Outside the Bedroom! appeared first on Men's Sex Advice.