Before using any new toys, be sure to familiarize yourself with the controls and how to use the toy.  Fumbling for “how to” in the heat of the moment can ruin the mood.  Be prepared and get to know the toy.  Turn it on, play with the speed controls, be able to control it without thinking about it and getting out of the moment with your partner!

Pulsing Clitoral Stimulators

This type of toy comes from several different brands, but the functions are basically the same.  They really hit the scene in the early 2010’s, according to Biird. They have a small, clit sized opening on them, behind which is a membrane that moves in and out.  This motion creates a suction with intensity and frequency that is typically adjustable.

Playing with these toys to familiarize yourself with them is very important.  These toys have controls that can be difficult to operate in the heat of the moment.  So, you need to know how to operate the toy without thinking too hard about it.  Turn it on, place your finger over the end.  Feel the pulsing on your finger.  Turn the toy up and feel how fast and how firmly it sucks.

Once you place the clitoral stimulator on the clit, your partner should let you know how it feels.  Communicate about faster or slower, and what she likes as you play with the toy on her clit.  Your partner should guiding the intensity.

One of the nice things about this type of toy is that you can fuck while your partner stimulates her clit with the toy.  It’s great for foreplay too!  It’s a great, fun suction toy!

Pussy Pumps

Pussy pumps are another example of a fun suction toy.  These differ from the clitoral stimulators in that they suction on the entire pussy.  Typically, they have a cup that covers the entire labia and clitoral hood.  The purpose is to engorge the vaginal area with blood to increase sensitivity and pleasure.

While pusys pumps are fun suction toys, caution should be used.  You can suction too hard, causing a distension.  Distention is where the inside comes outside.  The goal is for the area to be engorged with blood, not bruised and pulling the insides out.

Because the toy covers the clitoris, it will engorge that as well.  This will increase the pleasure for your partner.

Your Mouth

This is probably the most fun.  Cunnilingus should always have an element of sucking involved.  Using your mouth to suck on your partners pussy is amazing.  There’s a whole post on cunnilingus, so we won’t go over it again.  But adding suction to the clitoris adds a new dimension of pleasure for your partner.  The intimacy of using your mouth to do it only adds to the heat of the moment.  Of all the fun suction toys, the mouth is the most fun.

Conclusion

No matter what toy you try and add to your sex life, communication with your partner is the best way to get the most out of the toys.  Using a clitoral stimulator, pussy pump, or your mouth, you have to communicate with your partner.

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Clitoral Stimulation

We won’t cover the ins and outs of warming up your partner as that’s been covered. Just know that foreplay is important and needs to be something that we all recognize as something that needs to be done. Typically, clitoral stimulation is generally thought of as vibrators. Now, there’s a lot of toys that use gentle suction. Also, there are also toys now that touch-stimulate the clitoris with a simulated tongue. The We-Vtibe company makes the best toys that I’ve found. Their quality is high, and their support is also excellent.

We-Vibe Sync

The We-Vibe Sync is a toy that stimulates both inside and externally for her. There’s a vibrator motor on both the part of the toy that goes inside and the part that lays outside the pussy. It’s also controllable through your phone through bluetooth. And, it’s capable of being truly remotely controlled by you through your partner’s phone. This toy can be “hands free” and inside her during sex, which is something we like. Also, I like being able to remotely control the toy, if we are out on a date or just hanging out at home.

We-Vibe Tango

We also have a We-Vibe Tango. It’s a small lipstick sized vibrator. Typically, most people associate size with power. With the Tango, this is simply not the case. Because we used the Tango so much, we wore it out and had to buy a new one. With the Tango, there’s a difference between a buzz and a rumble. With the Tango, you get a rumble. It’s also the toy of choice when we are packing light. Well, this toy and the Sync.

Magic Wand

Another toy for clitoral stimulation is the mythical Magic Wand. This toy has an interesting history. Hitachi used to own and manufacture the Magic Wand as a massage implement. Over time, Hitachi found the need to distance itself from a sex toy so they spun the company off and sold it. When I bought a Magic Wand, I bought a speed controller for it as well. Also, I would strongly suggest people get a speed controller with their Magic Wand. Only having a high-off-low switch doesn’t give you the flexibility you are going to want. This toy sees a lot of use, and is one that almost always travels with us as well. It’s powerful, it’s adjustable, and it’s easy to handle. Even in the heat of the moment.

Womanizer

The Womanizer is a toy that creates a suction against her clit. This is a pulsing sensation that gently sucks on her clit externally. Judging by some of the videos that you can find with a quick Google search, and my own experience, this toy is worth every dollar. Using is during intercourse to stimulate her externally will help her reach one powerful orgasm. It’s sort of amazing to see how quickly this little wonder works. It’s on my list of “must buy” for anyone that asks me for advice. Also, it’s one toy that always makes the trip when we go out of town.

Internal Toys

Internal toys are toys like dildos, egg vibrators, and G-spot stimulators. Dildos come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Egg vibrators also have different sizes and shapes. Eggs also have remote controls or controls on the device itself. G-spot stimulators look like vibrators with a curve. The curve is to reach up against the G-spot, where the nerves come together as a bundle.

Dildos

Remember that the pussy is a muscle, and even a large dildo will not permanently change the shape of a pussy. They make those things HUGE. But, if you communicate with your partner you can find one that works for her and you both. They make dildos that vibrate, and suction cup bases, with and without balls. If you want some really different toys, check out Bad Dragon. Having one that suction cups to a smooth surface can help you and your partner simulate a threesome, allowing her to fuck herself while giving you head. It’s also sexy as hell to watch her fuck it.

Egg Vibrators

Egg vibrators are small and shaped like eggs, hence the name. These toys can be used like any vibrator, against the external pleasure points or fully inserted into the pussy. It’s important to communicate with your partner about what they want from this toy. Fucking her with the egg inserted can feel good, but you have to be mindful of how your dick is pushing against it. Depending on your size you can hurt your partner. Get an egg vibrator with a remote control. It’s fun to change the vibration settings while it’s inside her. It’s also very important to get a toy that you can get back out, so make sure it’s got a tail of some sort that will allow you to get the toy back out of her.

G-Spot Stimulators

G-Spot stimulators typically they have some sort of external part that will stay outside your partner. Reaching inside her with a curved shape so that they can vibrate and stimulate the G-spot. They will have controls on the part of the toy that stays outside or will be remote controlled. I would strongly suggest getting one that its remotely controlled. In the heat of the moment, it’s fun to control these toys just like the egg when there’s other things happening.

Anal Toys

Anal toys and anal play are often thought of as taboo. Anal takes preparation and great communication. We’ve talked about anal sex before so I’m not going to go over all the details. But, I will remind you that towels are your friend, and you need lube. I suggest Astroglide Gel, I get mine at Wal-Mart or Amazon. Anal toys can vibrate or just be something that sits just inside.

Butt plugs have a large variety of sizes and shapes. The important thing to remember about a butt plug is that the base that stays outside the body is flared. This flaring is what keeps the toy from going inside the body, and is 100% needed, unless you want to visit the ER with a funny story. Butt plugs come in lots of sizes and shapes. Some are remote controlled, some even come with a cock ring attached and insert into the mans ass. There are even some that inflate with a pump. Anal toys can be left in during sex as well, some women really enjoy the “full” sensation. If you get one with a handle as part of the base, gently pulling on it when she’s cumming is a nice sensation as well.

Toys are fun

I’m trying to show that toys can be very fun! Having fun pleasing your partner is something we should all try to do. It’s not as simple as “happy wife, happy life” which I find reductive and counter productive to a healthy relationship. It’s more about having a happy healthy sex life means that you should be trying to please your partner and she should be trying to please you. Toys are just one thing that can augment this. But, it’s so important to keep in mind that you are not being replaced with toys. You are augmenting what you can do with your body, hands, and mouth with a toy.

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