Anatomy

There’s a whole post about female that I hope you’ve read already.  Women are much more than just their pussy, we all know this.  We need to understand the anatomy of what we are doing before we get into the event itself.  Understanding where things are will help you please your partner.  Knowing why she feels the things she does will help you make her feel amazing.  So, learn the anatomy.  Learn where the clitorus is and where it goes inside her body.

Paying Attention to Her Responses

You have to pay attention to her responses to your inputs.  Make sure that you’ve communicated before sex about what you like and don’t like.  Then pay attention.  You have to understand it takes build up.  Turn her brain on then you can play with her body.  She will respond to your touches and you should know her reactions, good or bad.  Also remember evokes a negative response in the beginning might evoke a much different reaction once the action heats up.

Heating Things Up

Just like you, your partner doesn’t have a “switch” to be turned on, it’s a process.  She needs to be warmed up.  So when you start, be gently.  Kiss and caress all over.  Tell her how beautiful she is.  touch her chest (not just her breasts).  There are other posts about warming up and how to “get her started”, but it’s important to remember.

Once she’s going a little, kiss her pussy.  Right on the lips.  Lick from bottom to top, paying attention GENTLY to the tip of the clitoris.  Use your lips, not your tongue (except to keep your lips wet).  Rub her lips with yours.  Then start using your tongue both in and on her pussy and tip of her clitoris.  Once you are really going, add your fingers and help her climax!

Using Your Lips

As stated above, using your lips is good in the beginning.  It’s important to know that in general, most women do not want a lot of direct simulation on the tip of their clitoris in the beginning.  It is too much.  So, be gently, using your lips on her lips.  Then, as she gets more turned on you can be more aggressive.  Your lips should be slick and slide around, but you can also suck on her lips some, kiss all over.  Build her up then pull back, kiss her inner thighs, take a minute to appreciate the view from time to time.  Then dive back in to the job at hand!

Your lips should be used the whole time (along with your tongue).  Sucking on her lips and the tip of her clit will feel good to her.  You can build up the aggressiveness as she gets more turned on.  Just pay attention to how she’s reacting to your inputs.  She should be making it clear if it’s not working for her.

Adding Your Fingers

Anatomy rears its head again.  Knowing your partner’s anatomy is important, as is knowing what she likes and dislikes.  Some general things to remember are start gentle, let her lead the aggressiveness that you play with her with.  Play with the outside of her labia with enough pressure that you are gently moving her clitorus (using your fingers to squeeze her outer labia and move them up and down making sure everything is lubricated where you are touching).  Practice playing with her pussy, enjoy the time and pay attention.  Be intentional with your actions here.

Penetrate gently with the intention to augment your oral work, not to bring her to climax.  Know where to press for maximum effect but remember to pull back.

Time for the Lips and Tongue

Lick her pussy.  Savor the taste, the texture.  The way her skin feels smooth and inviting.  Feel her body respond to finally feeling your tongue on her skin.  Kiss her labia and the outer-labia skin.  Work your way toward her vaginal opening and her clit.  Be gentle.  Tease her.  Flatten your tongue and lick her slowly from the bottom of her vaginal opening to her clit, letting each part of your tongue touch her clit.

The licking continues, but add sucking on her labia and clitorus (gentle, let her guide you!).  Focus more and more on her clit.  Use your fingers at her guidance, some women like internal and external stimulation, some only like it for part of the ride.

The Orgasm

Now it’s time to focus.  Really work her clit.  Use your tongue, suck with her guidance (and remember her guidance for next time).  From what I’ve read and in my experience, most women are 11:00 or 1:00 women.  That means they have a preferred “side” of the clitorus to stimulate at your 11 or 1 o’clock.  But don’t focus only there, work around it, suck on it, lick it all over with varying and increasing pressure.

Sucking on her clit as though it’s a tiny penis head as you eat her pussy also feels amazing.  Feeling her clit expand under the negative pressure in your mouth s you eat her pussy feels so good.  The slickness of the skin, the taste of all her juices as she gets more excited is intoxicating.  Her body should be responding all over now, hands grabbing or opening and closing.  Her back arching off the bed.  She might even be moving her pussy around as your mouth “chases” it.

As the orgasm hits her, it’s similar to when you are getting a blowjob and your head gets too sensitive to continue, that’s what it feels like to her if you continue stimulating.  So lay off when she makes it clear that it’s too much.

Decision Time

Some women like to ride this orgasm wave.  Do not touch her clit or her pussy until it’s clear to you that it’s OK.  It might be 90 seconds, it’ might be 30 minutes.  She might want a gentle fuck, she might want you to immediately fuck her like you own her as she’s cumming.

Now that you’ve given her the orgasm she so richly deserves, she’s going to have a tough time talking.  You should know your relationship well enough to know your partner’s body language.  Using this, you should know when to move on to fucking her.  But that’s not part of this post….

Conclusion

Now that you have some guidelines on how to eat her pussy until she can’t talk, using this to bring her to some of the best orgasms she’s ever had should be a little, or a lot, easier.  As always, if you have a comment or question, please let me know using the contact page link above!  For some further reading, the article on Thought Catalog is something that I agree with.

Caveats and a Word of Warning

There is one thing to make sure you do.  If your partner says “like that” as you eat her pussy, you are going to feel the urge to speed up, apply more pressure, change something.  Please, do not do this.  Just don’t.  Your partner is communicating that she’s close and loves what’s happening.  Changing it resets her orgasm meter.

This is not intended to be the last article written about this for this site.  The plan is to write a few articles that work on different part of the act.  This advice is not intended to be universal and not all women can or will be satisfied by the techniques described below.

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How Orgasms Feel

You should be able to tell when your partner has an orgasm.  In general, if she doesn’t know or isn’t sure, then it likely didn’t happen.  I realize I might catch shit for saying that, but in my experience, if your partner can’t tell it hasn’t happened.  When your partner has a good orgasm, her pussy with tighten and pulse around your dick.  She might vocalize and shut her eyes.  Some women are squirters as well.

Orgasmic Reactions

Orgasmic reactions can be really strong.  We need to learn how to react to her orgasmic reactions.  Laughing, crying, shaking and shuddering are all things that can happen.  If you aren’t prepared for it, they can be shocking.  It’s always a surprise when everything is euphoric, and suddenly your partner is crying.  Expecting a strong reaction will help you be ready, even if there’s not one.  The orgasmic reactions like laughing can be such a surprise that it might stop your ability to climax.  The Guardian has a story about that exact situation.

Crying during an orgasm has a name, it’s called “crymaxing”.  Knowing WHY your partner is crying should help alleviate any concerns it may cause.  PubMed has a study where all these reactions are called “peri-orgasmic phenomena”.  It’s from the cascade of hormones that the brain produces.  Flooding with dopamine and oxytocin.  There’s a whole reddit thread about some women relaying that it happens to them regularly.

Orgasmic reactions can cause shuddering, stiffening of her entire body, loss of control of her bladder, inability to speak or walk.  It’s fun to learn about these things with your partner if she doesn’t know.

How to React to her Orgasmic Reactions

In the reddit post listed above, you can read about a variety of women having crymax orgasms.  You should read your partner and see what they want you to do.  Aftercare is something we’ve discussed before here.  You should ask your partner what she wants, and hopefully she knows how she’s going to react to her orgasm.  That should help guide you to your reaction to her orgasmic reaction.

If she’s not able to anticipate her reaction to her orgasm, you need to be ready with some ideas.  Lie down next to her and hold her, put a hand on her to remind her you are there, or just lie there and gently touch.  Every woman will have a different need during this time, so you need to pay attention to her reactions to what you are trying.

Conclusion

In the end, it’s all about being there for your partner.  So, anticipate, be prepared, and have fun!  As always, if there’s something that you want to let us know, use the Contact page to get ahold of us!

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What is Edging?

Edging is bringing your partner close to orgasm, then stopping.  Typically, when a man has a ruined orgasm we basically “rest” back to almost the beginning.  Women are different in this respect.  When you edge your partner, she will typically fall back to about 80% of her level she was at when you stop or change what you are doing.  Then, you build her back up.  Please her with whatever you were doing or whatever you know she likes!

Discuss Edging With Your Partner

When you want to edge your partner, you need to discuss it first.  Talk about their reaction and frustration level with being edged.  Not everyone likes the push to stop.  Some really do not like it and it will ruin the session.  There might be a limit on the number of times she will put up with being pulled back from orgasm.  Try sticking to 3 or less, as a general rule.  When you edge your partner, you want to frustrate a little, but do not ruin the session with it.

The discussion should cover how you are going to do it, and how many times you can do it.  You can do it many ways, including switching from oral to penetration, or stopping whatever you are doing for a cooldown, or simply changing technique to something less stimulating for her.  Switching from oral to penetration stimulates her differently (as you can see in this post about her anatomy).  Stopping all stimulation is the most jarring change.  Your partner might not like this at all, or may love it.  That’s why you discuss with her what her limits are!  Changing technique is probably the most common way to edge.  Going from strong steady clitoral stimulation in oral to gentle, slow stimulation, or from pounding her during PiV to gentle slow strokes.  Either of those are great changes of pace.

Pay Attention to Her Body

When you edge your partner, you need to know her body well.  Every woman has “tells” that will let you know when she’s about to orgasm, and you need to know them.  You need to know when she’s nearing her point of no return so you can stop before that.  If you go past that point, stopping will frustrate and generally ruin the session.  Because of that, stop before she reaches her point of no return.  Watching her body allows you to control the pace of the buildup too.  Because you know her body, slowing and speeding up the buildup should be easy.

How Far Can You Push Her Into Orgasm

How far can you push her into orgasm?  That’s something that needs to be decided before, or have some way to communicate with you that she needs you to stop.  In my experience, it’s very obvious.  You need to have a nonverbal way for her to communicate to you, as well as a verbal way.  There’s a really good chance that she won’t be able to speak to you while she’s having her orgasm.  When you finally allow her release, the orgasm should be huge.

So, Why Edge Your Partner?

Edging makes the orgasm more powerful.  That’s the short answer.  The longer answer is that the buildup and pull back of the orgasm makes the orgams “goalpost” move back a little bit every time.   Meaning that if your partner usually orgasms at an “8” out of ten, then edging might push that to a “9” or a “10”.  This means that the orgasm is bigger, and much more pleasurable for her.

Edging is usually framed as a male-centric conversation.  Most men enjoy being edged during a blowjob, extending the experience.  But, women enjoy it too!  Here is a good article on womenshelth.com about edging, and its effect on orgasms.

Summarizing…

When you edge your partner, it’s erotic.  It’s erotic to watch her build and pull back.  It’s erotic to feel her body work under your control.  There is a submissive, trusting aspect to this that she will have to trust you.  The reward is well worth all the effort!

If you have a suggestion for a topic, or a correction, basically anything you would like to talk to us, please use the Contact Page!

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Grafenberg Spot Anatomy

The g-spot is typically just inside the vagina, on the inside front wall.  If your partner is lying down on her back, insert a finger inside her with your palm up.  Feel what is the top of the inside of the vagina in this position.  For the first roughly 1-3 inches, there is a spongy texture.  This texture is the g-spot area.  Anatomically, this area is an erectile tissue that surrounds the urethra.  It is close to the erectile tissue in our penises.

As we know from the clitoral discussion linked above, you can see that the clitoris passes over and wraps partially around the urethra and that erectile tissue.  So, rubbing this tissue not only stimulates the nerves in the erectile tissue, it also stimulates the clitoris from the inside.

Visit the porn website of your choice, and search the site for “how to make a woman squirt”.  Once you’ve found a suitable video, notice that in all of them they are stimulating the area we are discussing.  Some technique is different for sure, but the basic anatomy that these women are having stimulated is the same.  They are stimulating the erectile tissue in the spongy area, and the inside of the clitoris.

G-Spot versus Groove Tunnel

There is a new name of the G-spot that is a better description.  The new name is the “groove tunnel”.  The new name makes sense to me as it’s more of a tube or sleeve than a single spot.  This article has a good discussion about this.  Because it’s more of an “area” than a single spot and it’s tunnel shaped, the groove tunnel is an apt name.  Although I’m not sure the name will ever catch on, it’s more descriptive for sure!

Stimulating the Groove Tunnel

As we have discussed in the past, don’t rush into anything.  Foreplay will never not be important.  You need to have properly warmed up your partner, and read the anatomy section above.  Get in between her legs or lie next to her.  Stimulate her whole body.  Touch and caress her breasts, her skin everywhere.   Work your way to her pussy, touching around until you get to her clit.  stimulate that for a little while.  Bring her up and down on her path to an orgasm.  Don’t frustrate her, but work her up then down.

You should know your partner by now, what she likes and doesn’t.  You are going to add something to your session.  Put one finger inside her, palm up.  Gently stimulate her using pressure on the roof of her vagina, maybe a “come here” motion.  As she gets more turned on, use two fingers.  Pay attention to your partner as she gets close to orgasm.  It may feel like she’s going to pee.  You are going to have to tell her to just relax.  Let it happen.  If this is something that you’ve never done with your partner, you need to be prepared for a big orgasm.

The Orgasm

Once her orgasm is close, you can really apply some pressure.  The groove tunnel you are pressing in is very strong.  You’ll be surprised how hard you can stimulate here.  She’s going to have a lot of very strong feelings and her orgasm should make her whole body rock.  When her orgasm is done, you have to stop.  You will know, she will fight you.  We all get too sensitive after an orgasm.  Going from pleasure to pain in a very short time.  Be sure to follow her led here.  She will communicate if she wants you to touch her or not.

Aftercare

Always take care of your partner after an intense session.  Because this was likely very intense for her, get her some water and some baby wipes (because you know to be prepared with your sex kit).  Hold her, let her quietly process the intensity of what she’s just hopefully experienced.

As always, please let us know if there’s anything that you’d like to see on the site, or anything different or wrong, just let us know on the Contact Us page!

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What is cum made of?

The entire job of semen or ejactulate is to carry the sperm to fertilize the egg.  News-Medical has an article that agrees with the other articles I’ve seen.  Semen components are made in the following glands and percentages: 45-80% in the seminal vesicles, 13-33% in the prostate gland, 5% in the testicles/epididymis, and the remaining 2-5% in the urethral glands.  Semen contains a host of nutrients, elements and chemicals.  The Wikipedia entry has the following table:

Mel Magazine has a great article on the makeup of semen.  Fructose is a sugar, and it’s there to provide nutrients to the sperm.  Enzymes, amino acids, and other proteins that are there to assist the sperm in penetrating the ovum shell.  Citrate, an antioxidant and used to create Vitamin C, is used to make the sperm more robust.  Prostaglandins are protiens that are there to help with the fertilization process.

Ejactulate Volume

Now that we have answered the ‘what is cum made of’ question, let’s discuss ejaculate volume.  Some men have very ejactulate a very large volume, like Peter North.  For those that don’t know, he’s a porn star that ejaculates a HUGE volume of cum.  Average ejaculate volume is 1 teaspoon.  There are ways to increase this.  For example, you can make sure you are hydrated.  Ejaculate volume is more a factor of genetics than anything else.  You can use diet and supplements to augment your natural “ability”, but you still have a base line amount your body can produce.

There is a mythical supplement pack called “the Holy Grail” that is rumored to increase ejaculate volume.  My reading leads me to believe that it works sometimes.  Not everyone responds to the Holy Grail.  The base of this pack is Zinc and Lecithin.  Inverse has the best breakdown of the Holy Grail.  1000mg of L-Arginine, 50MG Zinc, 200mg Pygeum, and 1200mg of Lecithin (daily values).

Ejaculate Distance

Ejactulate distance has actually been studied several times.  Some men (including yours truly) dribble.  I’ve only ever had an actual cumshot a couple of times in my life.  Distance can be improved by doing kegels.  When you are peeing, squeeze and stop your urine.  Then start it and stop it again.  That’s your kegel muscle.  By flexing it, you will increase the distance that you ejaculate.  Masters and Johnson study found one man that could ejaculate 8 feet.  Average is between 20 and 60cm.  Age, diet, genetics, and general health will have an effect on this.  This explains why some people don’t like cum in their mouths as the sudden pressure of the cum hitting the back of the throat may be off-putting.

Semen Taste

Most semen tastes like it smells.  Nina Hartley (Porn star from the 80’s, and sex advisor to this day) says that most cum tastes like it smells, which is slightly like bleach.  This makes sense, as seme is alkaline to counteract with the acidic environment in the vagina to protect the sperm.  There is hope.  Cum doesn’t have to taste bad.  Changing your diet to include more veggies and fruit will help, as does no smoking and eating less meat.  Pineapple is rumored to have an almost immediate effect on the taste of cum if consumed 12-24 hours before the event.

So, we’ve learned a lot in this post.  Semen is complex, completely OK to ingest, and varies in volume, distance, and taste.  We produce it 24/7 from puberty to death.  There are ways that we can improve the distance of our ejaculate, and the taste, and there are rumored methods of improving the volume.  As always, check out the contact us page to respond to any of our posts, or comment below!  We’d love to hear from you!

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Facials

Giving a facial is a dominant act. You stop fucking, and you tell her you want to cum on her face. You both maneuver into a position where you are over her (dominance). One of you has to continue to stimulate your dick (hands or mouth) until you are ready to cum, then you aim and let loose. Some women really enjoy this, some tolerate it, and some hate it. Cum is difficult to get out of hair, and burns the eyes (or so porn has told me). There’s also cleanup, which is something you should be prepared for.

Body Shots

Cumming on her body feels like marking her. It feels like “This is mine, I have marked her as mine”. In my experience, it also turns her on to watch you cum on her. It is very satisfying to cumo on her stomach or back (depending on the position you are in!) and watch your cum mark her. Have her pump your dick with her hands to finish you onto her body. Deciding where do you want to cum on her is fun too. Cum on her breasts, her stomach, her ass, her back, or her feet.

Inside Her

In Her Mouth

Cumming in her mouth is another dominant act in my opinion. I think there’s an argument saying that having the penis in your mouth gives you the power, but I would say giving a blowjob is a submissive act. Everyone will have their own opinion on this. A lot of people do this because it’s pregnancy safe, and requires little cleanup. This is my opinion, but spitters are quitters.

In Her Ass

Cumming in her ass obviously takes preparation for anal. Assuming all that has been done, cumming in her ass is something that feels incredible. In my experience the orgasms from anal for her are much stronger than vaginal ones. When you are asked “Where do you want to cum?”, you can reply with something really aggressive dominant like “I want to fill your ass up”. From what I’ve read online some women can feel your dick pulsing inside their ass, and some cannot. When we have anal sex, my partner can feel my dick pulsing and loves it. There is a bit of cleanup involved with anal in general, adding a little bit of ejaculateisn’t going to change that.

In Her Pussy

When you are comfortable with your partner and you are comfortable with the birth control methods being used, this is the Holy Grail. Biologically, we are wired to cum in our partners pussy. She will feel you pulsing, you will feel her squeezing and pumping. Having orgasms together is incredible, and I would hope that everyone gets to experience that in their lifetime. Cleanup isn’t bad depending on your ejaculate volume.

Being asked where you want to cum is hot. Sex is messy, cum is messy. Preparation is one of the keys to great sex. As always, if you have a question or a comment please feel free to contact us on the Contact Us page! We love feedback!

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The Buildup

When you start masturbating, there are a lot of chemical changes in your brain. When you start to masturbate, you are turning on different parts of your bodies sympathetic nervous system. Basically, you are tricking your body into behaving as it does during sex. Your digestion stops, your eyes dilate, you sweat a little, your heart rate increases. All these things are automatic responses to sexual stimulus.

Part of the sympathetic response is that your orbitofrontal cortex is less active. This is the part of the brain responsible for judgement and decision making. With the judgment center of the brain essentially off, you are on autopilot once the masturbation starts. That is how you go from watching a photo of a hot coed to suddenly seeing the girl next door getting railed by a fucking machine while she’s strapped to a board and getting face fucked. It’s because your judgement center is off.

As you continue to masturbate, and get closer to cumming, your dopamine levels increase as well. This pushes your decision making skills into the dumpster. As your orgasm hits, our brain is flooded with oxytocin and your dopamine.

The Orgasm

When the orgasm hits, the oxytocin and dopamine hit. The orgasm crashes through, and you cum. The oxytocin is a “bonding” chemical that makes you feel bonded with the person you are with. It’s also released during breast feeding. The dopamine released is the pleasure hormone, but some research shows that it teaches the brain to search out more of what creates the hormone as well. This will make us crave more sex. When your orgasm, the thalamus is active as well. The integration of sexual memories with touch and movement happens in the thalamus.

Post Nut Clarity

The post nut clarity that happens post orgasm is the rush of all these hormones returning to normal. The orbitofrontal cortex in particular is a big part of this, as your judgement returns and your decision making returns. What you need to remember is that orgasms are not a catch all for your feelings. They will help, for a short time only. Once you have orgasmed, the same thoughts you had before will return. Sometimes stronger than before. If you were depressed before, you’ll be depressed after. The French have a name for post nut depression, it’s called “Post-Coital Tristesse (PCT)“. This only happens if you have sadness to begin with.

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