Relaxing

Relaxing for a blowjob means being comfortable.  Find a spot that’s not only comfortable for you, but for your partner as well.  If you are comfortable on a chair, make sure your partner has a blanket to kneel on or sit on.  When you receive a blowjob on the bed, that means making room for your partner as well as yourself.  Just make sure you are both comfortable for the duration of the blowjob.

Preparing to be Pleased

This one sounds funny.  A great blowjob means you need to be preparing to be the center of attention.  For me, this is the hardest part.  You have to be ready to just receive pleasure without any effort on your part.  Your partner is there to give you pleasure.  They are going to be focussing on you and your pleasure.  This is an act of giving on their part, so you should be receiving with the intent of you pleasure.  So, t would be insulting to the giver to not be receptive.

Blowjobs are a selfless thing to do for the giver (although my partner would disagree).

Communicating Your Desires

Communicating your desires, likes, and dislikes during a blowjob is important.  There is no universal technique that everyone likes to receive.  So, knowing what you like is important.  Also, you could have a partner that likes to experiment with you to figure it out!  Think about pressure, like how much pressure do you like on your head or your partner’s hand on the shaft.  Do you like it when your partner plays with or sucks gently on your balls?  There are a lot of things to think about.

It is not just technique.  Think about the acts that you like or that your partner might like to try on you.  Do you want to be in their mouth the whole time?  Where do you want to cum?  Don’t forget to warn your partner before you cum because they will have a preference as well.

Communication is a two way street.  Find out if there are things your partner wants to do.  Do they want to rim you while playing with your dick, or give you some manual prostate stimulation?  These are the things you should talk about.  Hopefully, this will spur other conversations.  Be open, talk about things you have wanted to feel and let your partner express things they have wanted to try.

There are a lot of videos about it but here is a short one, and here is a course on Masterclass about this as well.

Ready for a Good Time!

Once you are ready a great blowjob, put all this prep into action!  Relax, get comfortable, and let your partner get to work pleasing you.  Let your partner put your conversation to work, putting the perfect pressure on your head.  Working your shaft just right.  Bringing you to edge and pushing you back until you can’t take it anymore.  Then, warning your partner (if that is what you decided on) and releasing your orgasm.

Conclusion

A great blowjob isn’t difficult, it just takes a bit of effort from the participants.  If you have any thoughts about the website or want to add or correct something, please use the contact us page!

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Styles of Blowjobs

While there are many many styles of blowjobs, we will discuss what the bulk of us see in porn or are likely to get at home.  Deepthroating, partial, mouth and hand, don’t forget the balls, and the always funny “gluck-gluck 9000”.

Deepthroat

Deepthroat is where the giver takes your entire dick into her mouth.  Typically, there’s no gag reflex and she (or you) will have to push past the “throat barrier”.   There are many tutorials to learn to deep throat online.  Here is a good one the yourtango.com website.   Another example can be found on the Instyle.com website.  Just like sex, the giver of the blowjob will likely need to warm up to this.  Really, expecting this might be a bit much.  According to the InStyle article linked above, only 37% of people don’t have a gag reflex.  The sounds of a deepthroat typically include a little gagging, so be prepared for that sound.

Deepthroat is one of those types of blowjobs that is more “porn” than “everyday”.  As always, communicating with your partner is the best way to handle discussing this particular act.  Maybe she can, maybe she can’t.  Communicating is the key!

Partial

When your partner only really puts the tip or the beginning of the shaft in her mouth, that’s partial.  She knows that the vast majority of the nerves on your penis are in the first 1.5-2 inches.  So, she’s using her mouth to stimulate where the most nerves are.  She can use her tongue to press against your frenulum (there is a large number of nerves here).  She can suck and lick.  Some people call this a “no hands” blowjob.  If so, it can include deepthroating but not necessarily.

Mouth and Hand

The mouth and hand blowjob is the most common.  It’s what you see in porn, and what you are likely to encounter in real life.  She puts as much as she can, regularly, in her mouth and stimulates the rest of your penis with her hands.  If you close your eyes, I would challenge you to figure out where her hands are versus her lips.  Using a lot of saliva helps with this type, making the shaft slick for her hands.

Don’t Forget the Balls

While she’s down there, don’t neglect the balls.  Discuss with her what you like.  Sometimes, it feels good to have the balls sucked on gently, pulled into her mouth.  Other times, just licking and sucking on the sack feels good.  Encourage her to explore and see what you like and feels good.  They have a lot of nerve endings as well, and it feels good to have them played with.

Gluck-Gluck-9000

Barstool sports owns and runs many podcasts.  “Call Her Daddy” had a particular episode called “Gluck-Gluck 9000” where the hosts described their blowjob style as Gluck-Gluck 9000.  The best description I can find is on reddit, where /u/sonicdooscar describes it like this:
“Grasp one hand with your pointer finger touching your thumb around his dick, and above that your other hand in the same position. Grip only with your thumb and pointers. Put your mouth on his tip. Once you spit on it a bit and its wet, one hand will go clockwise and the other counterclockwise. As you do that, go up and down on his tip. I call it the Gluck Gluck 3000 for some reason though not 9000.”

This sounds to me like an exaggerated, noisey version of using mouth and hands.  Among blowjob styles and positions, I think that this is probably one of the most known (behind deepthroating, which it seems like everyone knows).  “Call Her Daddy” has had some drama, but returned with one host and seems to have a strong following.

Throat Fucking

Throat fucking is where you are using her mouth and throat like a fleshlight.  Holding her head and fucking it.  It’s also called face fucking.  This is typically loud and very messy.  Makeup runs, saliva gets everywhere, it’s a wet mess of an event.  This is something that you need to discuss before attempting.  This is a dom/sub event, and you need to heed my advice on dom/sub relationships found here.

Postitions

Blowjob styles and positions can cover a lot of ground.  Pretty much any position that you can get into where your partners mouth can reach your dick can be a blowjob position.  We will discuss. a few of the more common ones.  These different positions put her jaw and throat in different levels of alignment, and can change the way your penis goes into her mouth.  This will change the way the blowjob feels based on her position.  It moves her tongue around, changes neck and jaw angles, and allows your penis more or less restricted entrance into her mouth.

69

Ah yes, the good old 69.  I bet you just giggled in your head.  Society has made this a funny number.  But, let’s be honest, it’s a great position.  It allows you. to access your partners pussy and ass while she sucks your dick.  69 is generally done with her lying on you, her head at your crotch, her pussy over your mouth.  It gives both of you something to do, and allows you to please each other.  In my experience, I want to eat pussy or get a blowjob, but I still want a 69 from time to time.

On Her Knees

My guess is that this is the most or the second most practiced in day to day life for most couples.  This is where you would be seated or standing, and she gets on her knees and gives you a blowjob.  It keeps her hands free to play with your shaft or balls.  This position also allows you to watch as your dick disappears into her mouth, and use your hands on her head as well.  Communicate before you do too much guiding, not every girl wants or likes her face fucked.  This position has a dom/sub component to it.  While there is an argument for who is the dominant one (that my SO would argue with me about for sure), I can say that it feels dominant to receive a blowjob like this.

Roadhead

This can be very dangerous.  There’s a storyline in “American Gods” where a couple was performing this and had an accident.  The women bit the penis off her partner during the accident.  Typically, the woman will lay across the car and give a blowjob to the driver of the car.  Obviously, this is very distracting.  Of all the blowjob styles and positions, this is the one that I would suggest you second guess or just park for.  It is exciting, but dangerous (which is probably why it’s exciting).

Head Hanging Off the Bed

This is a very submissive position in my opinion.  She lays on the bed with her head hanging off, either on her back or stomach.  This gives you approximate access to her mouth while standing next to the bed.  This is basically a face fucking position.  Let her guide you with her hands on your legs both pace and depth.  She has to breathe!  If you are able to deepthroat your partner, you can see your dick make her throat bulge out in this position on her back.  This position with her on her back gives her excellent access to your balls as well.

Lying on the Bed

This is what I would expect to be the most common of all the blowjob styles and positions.  You lie down, and she makes herself comfortable and gives you a blowjob.  This allows you varied access to her body as well, at her discretion.  Also, this allows her to give you different sensations based on where and how she lays.  Because she’s on the bed with you, you will both be more comfortable as well.

Spit or Swallow

This is the finale.  The final result of most blowjobs.  Whether your partner spits or swallows is up to them, of course.  But, your opinion should be heard on this as well.  Suddenly stopping all the stimulus that oral provides can ruin a good orgasm, or take an orgasm from great to just OK.  This all ties to the mental part of a blowjob we’ll discuss below, but blowjobs are about accepting and a desire to please.  To me, it would be like orally getting your partner to the edge of an awesome orgasm, and just as she’s about to roll over the edge you stop stimulating her, or switch to fingering.

Mental Stimulation

Blowjobs are as much mental as they are physical.  Getting a blowjob is a very accepting thing to do.  Your partner is accepting the most vulnerable, genetically speaking one of the most important, parts of your body into her mouth.  She’s working to please you in a giving, unselfish (this is arguable with some women) way.  the mental stimulus and the acceptance culminates in the orgasm.  By keeping your dick in her mouth and swallowing, she’s not just saying “I want to please you” she’s saying “And I want all of you, even your ejaculate, inside me”.  It’s even more so when she smiles as she swallows and talks about how much she likes it.  Women say again and again that men being verbal is a turn on, but it’s both sides being verbal.  Not just men.

Conclusion

Blowjob styles and positions are varied and all are awesome.  It’s important to know that this is FAR from an exhaustive list of ways, places, styles, and positions a blowjob can happen.  The only bad blowjob, IMO, is one that uses teeth.

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Physical Actions

Attentive Great Blowjob

Physical actions that make a great blowjob will vary from man to man.  I would expect some level of communication to have happened between you and your partner.  This needs to include both of your likes and dislikes during oral sex.  So, pacing, pressure, depth, suction, and handwork are physical sensations that make a difference.  For pacing, the sensations should build to the orgasm based on how you are reacting.  Because all of these things will be specific to you, you need to communicate them to your partner before or during the blowjob.

Great blowjobs will have a variety of sensations for you.  Pacing, pressure, depth, suction, and handwork will all change through the blowjob.  Typically, I’ve read that in the beginning a good slow pace works best, with light suction.  Then, as things progress, adding more handwork, deeper depth and more suction is OK.  In the end, when you are cumming most sensation on the head needs to stop with light suction (should she allow you to cum in her mouth.  Not much better for me personally than when she swallows.

Finding a partner that will pay attention to your balls is always fun.  Having her move around and incorporate more than just your dick, kissing and licking around, sucking gently on your balls, that is awesome.

Enthusiasm

Attitude comes out in the desire your partner shows in pleasuring you.  When your partner shows enthusiasm to sucking your dick, that is what makes a great blowjob.  When she wants your dick in her mouth, truly WANTS it, there’s not wrong way.  She will want to please you, do it the way you like.  Enthusiasm is a huge component of what makes a good blowjob a great blowjob.

Want and Desire

Want and desire are important in a great blowjob as well.  Want and desire manifest in the enthusiasm and energy given to the blowjob.  No one wants a partner that isn’t into the act.  That is, unless that is your fetish and that is what you want.  Having want and desire will show in the eye contact, the attention paid to your reactions.  Your body language, moans and words of pleasure should be enough to show an attentive partner what works and doesn’t with you.

Verbal and Non-Verbal

Universally, women say they want their partner to make more noise in bed.  Make sounds.  Let your partner know when she’s doing something you enjoy.  Tell her that feels good, guide her with your words.  Simply saying “Oh yes, like THAT” while she’s doing whatever thing you are really enjoying is great.  Even non verbal communication is great.  For example, put your hand on her head, not to GUIDE her, but to feel what she’s doing as she blows you.  Not every woman will be into this, and some will really be into it.  You can also hold her or touch her and your squeezes will let her know when she’s doing something you like.

External Site Advice

Typically, I avoid linking to a Cosmopolitan article because I don’t agree with everything they say.  But, here is a short list I agree with.   Nicole Atkins also give GREAT advice on her medium.com article.  She goes over the physical sensations, and includes links to the specific parts she mentions.  This is a particularly good article on the subject of great blowjobs.  Hey Heidi covers one item I honestly hadn’t thought about.  Lie back and relax.  Letting all your thoughts go and being in the moment to accept all the pleasure is an important part of making a great blowjob.

As always, if you see something missing or a mistake let us know.  We are always welcome to comments and would love to hear from you on our contact us page.

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Some of the big blowjob obstacles that can reduce her desire to please are you attitude and grooming. Jordan Grey has an excellent post about getting more BJ’s from your partner. If you act like she owes you head, you are already losing. You want her to want to suck your dick. Keep it clean, keep your hair trimmed (if she likes that). Be positive when it’s happening and don’t complain!

The big things I would point out in this situation is to not be negative, and to communicate non-verbally during the BJ itself. You know when your partner is having a good time, she communicates non verbally during sex! So should you during a blowjob. Moan, grunt, say something when things feel good. Make good sounds when good things happen, make bad sounds when bad things happen. She’s listening, she’s pleasing you, so she’s trying to make you happy. If this seems weird to you (and it did to me for a long time) then you need to realize that it’s just like you going down on her. You want to please her!

Not being negative is something that is a big deal. It seems really logical. But, in the heat of the moment sometimes we say things we don’t mean. Or how we don’t mean them. Which is why it’s a good idea to discuss these things before or after, not during the blowjob. Just be open, be direct, and communicate what you like. Do not critique her technique, she wants to please you. Say things like “I like it when you lick right under my head” and not being negative about it. When you communicate about it, you need to be open with her about what she likes and wants and needs when you go down on her.

It’s important that we don’t expect blowjobs. They aren’t magic. Life isn’t pornography. Every time your dick comes out it doesn’t’ mean it needs to be sucked. Not every woman likes giving head, while some enjoy it a great deal. This is where communicating your needs and wants are so important. I know in my relationship, all I have to do is ask for one and there’s a 99% chance I’ll get one. It’s like this because we have such a great, open relationship and we talk and communicate so well. It’s not magic, it takes work. But it’s worth every ounce of effort.

Some of these conversations are hard. I would strongly suggest, as Jordan Grey does, that you set aside time specifically for this. Specifically to talk about your sex life. Don’t limit it to a single act, and I would strongly suggest you each prepare a list. Actually write it down. Being organized about your thoughts and being intentional about it is a good thing. It is not a list of things she’s doing wrong or unfulfilled needs, although it’s OK to bring up unfulfilled needs. Jordan also make a great point when she discusses your approach, don’t say “I want more blowjobs” but frame it as something you can both work together, like “I want our sex life to be vibrant and fun, how can we get back to that”. “I want more blowjobs” invites more of a tit-for-tat conversation, which brings me to another great point.

Sometimes getting head is tit-for-tat. It doesn’t have to be a 1:1 exchange. But, it does need to be equitable. If you are not going down on her, it’s likely not on her mind that you are lacking. Again, it’s not something that you should have to earn. It’s something you want to be given freely. A BJ that’s given is a thousand times better than a BJ that’s obligatory or coerced.

The following points need to be your take aways from this post:

• Stay clean and well groomed
• Be positive in your vocal and non-vocal communication
• Be direct in your conversations about sex
• Set aside dedicated time to communicate what you want from your sex life
• Giving oral is as important as receiving it.

If you have anything you’d like to add to this, please contact us at the contact us page, or comment on this post! We would love to hear from you and get your thoughts on what’s been said or even a critique.

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So, the time has come. She’s hinted and moved that way. Her head is getting close to your dick, you can feel her breath on you. She finally touched your cock to her lips, opens her mouth and you gently slide….into her teeth. Now, you need to have a good talk about blowjobs.

Don’t Criticize

She knows your cock hit her teeth, she can feel it. You should just tell her if something is uncomfortable. Scraping against teeth falls into this category for sure, so just gently tell her. “Hey, I love you giving me head, but I hit your teeth. Maybe we can try some different things?” A statement like that opens her up to talk about why you hit her teeth. If your dick is too big, then you might just have to accept it. It’s possible she’s having a bad day and her jaw hurts. That’s OK too, but communicating about it is the best solution. For example, my SO focuses on my head, and uses her hand for the rest of the shaft. BJ’s are amazing, and I honestly couldn’t tell with my eyes closed where her lips stop and her hands start.

The important things to keep in mind when you are having this discussion are:
1) Don’t make her feel bad about what’s happened, that will take away her pleasure in pleasing you
2) Always have suggestions as to how she can change what’s she’s doing to please you better

Making her feel bad about what’s happened will make her feel bad. She was giving you a blowjob because she wanted to make you feel good, and failed. So you have to be gentle when you talk to her about it. You can’t just jump in with “that wasn’t very good, you used your teeth”. Saying anything like that is unproductive. What you need to say are things like “That felt great, and I love you wanting to please me, but let’s work together to find a way that feels better for me” or “I love your desire to please me, but my dick hit your teeth. Let’s try to find a position where that doesn’t happen”. Which leads us to the second point.

Teach in a Positive Way

Always have suggestions ready to help guide her when she’s doing something you don’t like. You will need to work with her to get it right, she does not have a dick and doesn’t know what it feels like to have one sucked. So, you may have to communicate some basic things to her about your anatomy, like where you are most sensitive, things like that. Make sure you have your personal preferences known as well. You need to know what you like and be able to articulate it so you can suggest to her what feels good for you! Not knowing means you two need to work together learn what feels good and works for both of you. I know, it’ll be a burden for you to have practice blowjobs, but together you can do it!

Some things that you can suggest are having her focus on the head of your cock because that’s where the most nerves are. You can have her use a lot of spit, which will help lube everything and slide into her mouth easier. Using her hands in conjunction with her mouth is a great thing to talk about too.

Relax and Enjoy!

“She’s giving you head, now what’s your job?” is where we started, so let’s talk about what to do when there’s not been anything wrong. Your job is to relax and enjoy the blowjob. Be vocal about it when she’s doing something you like. Let her know if something hurts so she’ll stop. She wants to pleasure you when she’s giving you head, so just enjoy it. You should always communicate when you are going to cum. I can promise you that it’s a surprise she does not want.

As always, if you have questions, check out our Contact Page and shoot us a message. We’d love to hear from you!

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