Communicating

Communication is very important. I know I talk about it a lot, but just read the posts linked above about how important it is. Sex is important, and should be given that level of importance in your life. Communicate your desires, wants, and things you just want to try. Then, listen to your partner about they want out of your shared sex life. Discussing things will probably show you more in common than you think! Don’t be afraid to discuss things you might think are taboo, like anal or domination. Also, don’t make your partner feel weird about expressing a desire you might not like. Being honest requires being vulnerable, and feelings can get hurt here. Find out what you each like so you can spice up your sex during quarantine, and after!

Places

Now that you have some idea of what you and your partner are in to, discuss some specifics. Places you haven’t fucked yet should be on the list. Maybe you want a blowjob on the back porch or you need to Christen every room in the house. Both of those are excellent and run ideas. Be very careful about public sex acts, no one wants to register as a sex offender for the rest of their lives. Some other ideas to spur your thoughts are outside sex, fitting room at a department store, family restrooms, car sex almost anywhere, office buildings you may have access to, the ideas are endless. There’s an article on Paired Life that has more great ideas!

Acts

Sex acts are where you can spice things up in the comfort of your own home. Setup the bedroom for something romantic, but go all out. Because you communicated both of your wants and needs, this is where all that comes in to play. Maybe you want to be dominated or dominate your partner. The point is, make use of this time. Turn off the TV, bend her over the kitchen table a fuck her. Don’t sit and waste the time, take her to bed and try something on your list or hers (preferably both!). There are a lot of articles online with ideas for sex. Just remember, not everything needs to be spontaneous. Grabbing a quickie might just be what the doctor ordered in the middle of the day. If you work from home, give your partner permission to give you head during work hours. Talk to your partner about your household being “Free Use” where one or both of you are fully open to what the other wants 24/7 (within your own limits).

Toys and Equipment

Mail ordering from places like Liberator or Love Honey. I don’t have many ideas for male toys, I’ve read good things about the Fleshlight. My thought is that it would probably feel good, but cleanup would turn me off. However, for women, I have a small collection that continues to grow. Sex during quarantine is a prime time to experiment!

Toys

Having a small collection of toys for her is probably one of the best investments you can make. I would recommend that you get a good vibrator. The Magic Wand with a speed controller is a great place to start. It plugs into the wall so there’s no charging to worry about, and with the speed controller you can ram ramp up and dial back the vibrations to edge her along. The Womanizer is another must have toy. The reviews all said that it can induce an orgasm in minutes. It uses pulsed suction to stimulate her clit. I would also recommend a dildo with a suction base (talk about size with your partner). Having a remote controlled vibrator is a fun “date” toy too. We-Vibe makes several great ones. I would also recommend getting a good quality butt plug with a flared base so you don’t lose it!

Equipment

When I’m talking about equipment, I’m talking about items that are larger and more complicated than toys. For example, bondage equipment or sex swings, things like that. When it comes to bondage, there is a lot of equipment out there that would require its own room for bondage. Because this is about sex during quarantine, we will discuss things you can order and use now. For example, an underbed restraint system like this one is a good start. If you enjoy that, I would recommend going to Etsy and getting something a bit nicer from a place like Atrocity Shop. Both the nicer set and the inexpensive set can be hidden under the bed or under the mattress when not in use. Don’t forget you can tie her to the headboard as well using cuffs.

Sex Swings are decidedly harder to hide, but it is possible. Your Tango has a good article on how to hide the ceiling hook or support for your swing. So far, no one has noticed mine. Sex Swings come in a variety of types. Whichever you choose, make sure it’s secure for your partner and comfortable as well. I would recommend always getting the head support as well so she can lay back and not worry about supporting her head. These do take some effort to get used to, but they are fun.

As always, don’t hesitate to contact us about anything you think we can improve on or a subject you’d like us to cover. You can do so at the Contact Us link on the menu above or the link above.

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Communicate Your Needs

Getting what you need starts by communicating what your needs are. If your partner isn’t doing something you need, you need to communicate with them. Knowing your needs is the first step in this process. While this does seem logical, it is often skipped. When you are thinking about your needs, seperate your needs from your wants. For example, you may need physical stimulation to get hard. Communicate that to your partner clearly. She needs to touch you to get you hard. Knowing your sexual needs and communicating them is very important.

Wants Versus Needs

Knowing your wants versus your needs is something you need to think about as well. Needs are things that you can’t function without, wants are things you like. Some men need emotional attachment to have sex. Some men want to eat their partners ass. That’s an example of needs versus wants.

When discussing all this with your partner, always discuss needs before wants. Because they are more important, you need to lead with them. Do not talk over your partner when they start to discuss their needs as well. this means you need to be listening and paying attention when she talks. Make notes if you have to. I’ve said it so many times, but sex is important and should be afforded that level of importance.

Discussing wants is where things get really fun. It’s important here to take notes and be specific. Tell your partner what you want to do to her. Tell her what you want her to do to you. But, you need to know exactly what you are asking for, specifically. In other words, if you want a blowjob before sex, tell her. If you have a fetish for her swallowing your cum, tell her. If she tells you that she wants you to eat her pussy once a week, then you do that until she finishes all over your face.

Being Prepared for the consequences

As it always is, there is a chance that your needs or wants will not line up with something your partner won’t do. If that’s the case, you need to decide if that’s OK with you. Sexual tastes and interests change over time. Your partner may change her mind, she may not. You need to be OK with either decision, or be prepared to move on in the relationship. You can read hundreds of testimonials online where partners have changed their sexual appetites years into the relationship.

By communicating your needs and wants, and being open to all your partners needs and wants, your sex life will improve. Don’t be afraid to communicate with your partner. By communicating your needs and wants and listening to her needs and wants, you will be getting what you need.

As with every post, please leave us feedback on what you love, hate, despise or just think is plain wrong. You can do so here!

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It’s very important to learn some basics of anatomy of both yourself and your partner. There’s a lot of misinformation out there, and misconceptions about how everything works sexually. I will be giving advice about that as well. I’ve been there, and I’m trying to offer help with relationships and sex. My point is that I’m going to try to use my experience to help anyone reading it.

Anyway, that’s the intention. I guess we will all see how this goes! If you see any posts you think need more information, or have an idea or correction, use the Contact Us page!

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