What is the right frequency and duration for sex? This is going to be dependant on many factors. But, the best frequency is often enough that both parties are satisfied. The best duration is long enough that both you and your partner are happy. Sexual frequency is something that is a hotly debated subject. The high sex drive people wanting more, the low sex drive people wanting less. Sex duration is typically not as divisive, but there are preferences among women and men as to what they find ideal.
Frequency
Sex Frequency is often posted about on advice forums that are sexually focussed. When thinking about what is the right frequency and duration for sex is, we should discuss frequency first. The posts are always about the high sex drive partner wanting more sex than the low sex drive partner. A low sex drive can have several causes. For example, low sex drive can be from a hormone issue, or a relationship problem, or stress in one or both of your lives.
Hormones
Hormones drive our lives. They control our emotions, our hunger, and our sex drives. The main driver for sex drive is testosterone. Women and men both have testosterone. A low level of testosterone will cause issues with your sex drive, but it can be remedied. There are several methods available to fix someone with low-T, and the test is a simple blood draw. Hormones are discussed in this post on my blog as well.
Relationship Issues
Relationship issues can cause stress on a couple which manifests in a lowered desire for sex. All relationships have their difficulties, so we must learn to communicate effectively. This blog has several posts about communication and learning to communicate. Arguments that go unresolved tend to fester and create issues that worsen the longer we wait to communicate. From health matters to attitude changes, simply talk about your issues. So, it’s important to remember this as you progress in a relationship.
Outside Stress
So, outside the relationship there are a lot of things that can stress a couple. Stress does not always come from within the relationship. Work, family, weather, there are a lot of things that cause problems. Talking to your partner about these things will help alleviate the stress. But, because the stress is from outside the relationship, talking about the problem generally won’t fix the problem. However, talking about it will help both partners deal with the issue themselves.
Duration
The duration of a sex session is another hot topic online. There are polls that have been completed on the subject. According to a healthline survey, several time limits were found for vaginal sex. 2 minutes was considered too short while 10 to 30 minutes was too long. The survey found that 7 to 13 minutes was the ideal time for vaginal sex.
The survey asks about penetrative sex. This doesn’t count foreplay, cuddling, prep time, or any of the other things that are part of a normal session. I would guess that at LEAST 30 minutes is what most of us would consider normal for a quick session, and hours for a long session. Sex is intimate, and sharing that intimacy shouldn’t have a time limit.
If you can think of anything that is missing or needs more attention on this or any post, please contact us using the contact us page!
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