Essential advice for CNC in your bedroom. CNC stands for Consensual non-consent. You need to have open, honest communication about CNC before you try it. Setup ground rules and limits, and talk about the dom/sub (d/s) dynamic as it applies to your relationship. Make sure that you cover safe words and safe actions as discussed in this post. Also make sure you cover ground rules for marks and bruises.
Have read many articles and posts about CNC, sometimes it stems from trauma. If this is the case with your woman, make sure she’s really OK going into CNC. Know that even if there is no trauma, she will need aftercare. Now, lets talk about CNC itself.
Consensual non-consent is all about forcing yourself onto your partner. Some people refer to this as rape-play, but I prefer CNC. Rape-play has too many negative connotations, in my opinion. So, She wants you to force yourself onto her. This means when she says no, you keep going. She she squirms away, you pull her back. She tries to fight, and you pin her arms down and force her. Your mindset needs to be not to hurt her, but to please her by forcing her to do your bidding.
For me, this seems daunting. I don’t want to hurt my SO, but CNC would involve hurting her to some extent. With roughness that comes with CNC, some of this will happen. Bruises, red marks, things like that are bound (ha – a pun) to happen as the CNC progresses through the scene. Knowing this going in will help deal with the marks afterward.
The “non-consent” aspect of this arrangement means the dom needs to force the sub to perform. Consent was given previously by the sub, the dom needs to force the issue until a safe word or safe action is used. The sub wants this, and watching her body will be telltale to you that she’s into it even when she’s struggling. A CNC scene can be elaborate if the couple desires. He can dress as an actual attacker. After she falls asleep he can sneak in and wake her in the attack. It’s up to the couple to decide on the realism and spontaneity of the scene.
Another important note about CNC is that for rape victims it can be therapeutic. The rape victim will be able to start associating something pleasurable with the experience. The important aspect of CNC is that the dom respect her limits. Making sure she has control of the events (vagina may be OK, anal may not) will help associate control with the event. The scene needs to be totally controlled by the sub. If the dom cannot respect this, or makes the sub feel disrespected, then the scene should stop.
As you think about this essential advice for CNC in your bedroom and you have questions, check out our Contact Page and shoot us a message. We’d love to hear from you!
Leave a Reply